GUMMINT GRIZZLE
T
HE MOMENT ISobviously
coming when the last few federal
parliamentarians turn out to be
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have forgotten that they owe allegiance
to the Aztec Empire or Barsoom. The
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Hanson (unless she turns out to be a
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house when they both admit that yes,
they are indeed both from LalaLand and
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passport. Just imagine – at the
penultimate moment, Abbot would be
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rolled into one... and then, pop.
What to do then as we descend (or
perhaps rise) into the Marvel Universe?
Not to worry. As usual, The Bear is
ready with an answer as a smitten nation
calls to him. I suggest we call in the
most recent senior parliamentarian who
actually departed the House on the
Hill with his dignity intact, and make
Brendan Nelson our temporary federal
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Memorial; I’m sure he’d be even better
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administrators to impossibly crazy
or corrupt local councils, don’t we?
What’s the difference, except for size?
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Brendan is a motorcyclist. I’m sure
his Hayabusa would make an excellent
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leading us all into a new, brighter
future where the people who govern
us are drawn from and responsible to
the people they govern.
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satire until then. I mean, how can you
satirise Barnaby Joyce as a Kiwi, Nick
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oh and wait, someone now turns out to
be what, Ecuadorean?
What was that about the world not
only being queerer than we suppose,
but queerer than we can suppose? Ah,
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something truly fascinating about the
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Peter ‘The Bear’
ThoemingGRIZZLING
BUGGER OFF, BIKERS
You may recall my
whinging about the notice
that tells you to wind up your
windows and recycle air before
using the Epping Tunnel. I wasn’t
going to take it any further, but I see
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snapped and wrote to them, asking a
simple question: as a motorcyclist, what
am I supposed to do?
The answer is staggering in its
arrogance. Here it is in its entirety.
“Thank you for your recent email.
“I understand you are concerned about
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Tunnel are required to operate in
accordance with the requirements of
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tunnels has always been met, and for
the vast majority of the time been well
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stringently monitor the jet fans and
exhaust fans within the tunnels and
will continue to monitor the air quality
to ensure we always meet the strict
standards that have been imposed on
their operation.
“We understand that a journey through
the tunnels are [sic] different between
the driver of a passenger vehicle and
a motorcyclist and note that there
a number of alternate routes that
motorists can take to reach their
destination that do not require the use
of the Tunnels. We appreciate your
feedback and emphasise the safety
and wellbeing of our customers is our
priority at all times.
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I’m pleased to be ‘resolved’, Aaron.
However, while I know that ‘they’ tell
you what to write, do you think there
might be a more polite way of saying
“motorcyclists, just bugger off ”?WHITE SUPREMACY
Reports have come in that at the pub
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the pub long ago changed to plastic
glasses, so glassings failed to cause
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slogans were exchanged and it was only
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were forced out of the side door into
the alley, where they continued to shout
“White is Right, and you know it”, that
order returned inside the pub.
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has been quoted saying, “This White
business is just crazy. Bikes in other
colours are just as fast.”
It is expected that the Red Men at the
back of the bar, sporting various Italian
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colour concept at an early date.NO, NO, SERIOUSLY NOW
I am getting my wish to ride Baja
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little bit of Baja and then die, choking in
the dust of all the riders passing me. No,
I’m doing it at my own pace and in my
own inimitable style – from one purveyor
of tequila to the next. The place has
intrigued me ever since I visited Tijuana
with its burros painted with stripes to
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and thought – the rest of this peninsula
can’t possibly be like this.
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motoquest.com), who run a couple
of Baja tours themselves, are lending
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three months before I go!