Australian Motorcyclist — December 2017

(Martin Jones) #1
weighed more than a kilo l
that time, having left behin
amount of bark when any
of the rider’s anatomy touc
the abrasive road surface o
long and painful journey.
more insult to more injury,
rider’s scooter might well h
arrived at precisely the sam
spot shortly thereafter and
some velocity, possibly leav
the legacy of several black
tyre marks over most of th
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bad enough on exposed sk
but to peel off a couple of
kilos of that essential, if
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burnt or not – has nothing
going for it at all, let me
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arguable fact!
There were also
many girls who looked
absolutely fantastic as they
the smaller scooters about, but who
were also wearing as little as possible;
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the norm, although there were one or
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cozzies, thus possibly allowing for a
little more protection should the worst
come to pass. They often displayed
no footwear, but were again wearing
helmets; mostly open face types, of
course! It looked a very strange sight
indeed, for only the heads of the various
riders enjoyed a measure of protection,
although I did notice that at least two or
three of the more bosomy female riders
should have been wearing three helmets,
only one of which might need to be of
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TV commercial at the very top of the
steepest of steep hills at the beachside
suburb, and riding scooters in that far
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sense, but to ride any distance at all as
unclad as this lot seemed to me to be a
not very good idea.
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residents, whom I could see popping
down from home to the beach for
a good splash about, or perhaps –

particularly in the case o
some of the more pneumatic females
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could see no good reason why they
should be wearing anything but their
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clenching sight.
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and there is sometimes no control at all
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happen: it’s paranoid, I know, but it
hardly needs repeating, and repeating,
and repeating again... but slipping
off a motorcycle at any time is not an
unknown occurrence: if this occurs, it is
more often than not accompanied by an
injury to one’s pride and little else.
But there is no joy to be had in having
to have one’s bedclothes hosed off one’s
body every morning (which I hear from
brother Andy is the easiest, quickest
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and numerous serums to be emitted,
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glued thereto. And yes, I do know a little
about that: thankfully not much, I am
pleased to say, and not in the recent past,
but I certainly do know a little about
painful interludes of that type.

but to work, and to work hard at that.
Thankfully, we were indoors for much
of that day.
At the time, I noted that the area
seemed to be awash with a veritable
army of a substantial variety of motor
scooters, large and small, most of
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swimwear along with several genders.
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the tight roundabouts while wearing
nothing but skimpy swimmers and no
footwear, or at best thongs. These riders
varied in colour from deep brown or
light tan to the appearance of a boiled
lobster. There was not one white man,
or woman, to be seen anywhere; or none
who were scooter mounted.
But it was clear they were all aware
enough of the consequences of slipping
off their respective mounts, having
their various heads legally adorned
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face, helmets. Being almost starkers,
but adorned with a large helmet
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an unintentional slide followed by a
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these unhappy incidents were often
termed in the Olden Days. But a rider
thus (un)dressed would need to have
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perpendicular, to spring upright on two
feet again like a circus performer if that
rider was to avoid the searing loss of a
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even a minor bingle occurred.
However, there seemed to be little
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of skin which were exposed to the
elements and the abrasive road surfaces
should an unfortunate tumble occur or
if a rider was to slide sideways over the
road surface, particularly if the rider was
headed downhill at the time!
Any rider thus unadorned who may
have had the misfortune to have slipped
off at the top of any of the steep
hills which abound would quite likely
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all the way to the bottom and ended
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beef. That unfortunate rider might have


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