116 Sep/Oct 2017 oxygenmag.com.au
Spotlight
I
come from an Italian background
and food was always a priority for
my family. We had weekly family
celebrations and whilst it was nice to
have the family all together, all celebrations
and conversation revolved around food. My
parents owned a successful delicatessen and
our family lived upstairs, so food was always
on hand. Ham, pasta, cheese, sweets: you
name it, I had access to it.
I was an overweight baby, child and
teenager. Growing up I had this delusion
that one day I would just wake up skinny,
through some divine intervention. But we
all know that’s not how fat loss works and
as I grew up I was bullied for my weight
issues and I didn’t participate in any sports
growing up because I was too embarrassed.
I carried these feelings of worthlessness and
embarrassment into my adult life and had
accepted my body for what it was, hoping
one day it would all change.
My first pregnancy with my son Emmanuel
was a phantom pregnancy. Whilst I knew
that I was pregnant, being so overweight,
whenever I would have scans, I could not
see my baby and I couldn’t acknowledge my
pregnancy. I didn’t feel the Braxton Hicks, I
couldn’t feel my baby moving, I didn’t even
look pregnant. At 32 weeks I had an internal
cannula test where it was found that there
was no amniotic fluid and within two hours,
he was delivered via C-section. He was a
1kg baby and was kept in hospital for two
months. I could not bond with him; I could
not hold him and post-natal depressionenveloped me. This further affected my
negative relationship with food and I ate
constantly to cover up the depression. My
relationships, especially with my husband
at the time, deteriorated. But we forged on.
When Emmanuel was six months old, my
parents’ health declined. With the assistance
of my brother and sister we took it in turns
to nurse our father who was suffering Motor
Neurone Disease and whose dying wish was
to remain in the family home. My mother
was terminally ill with cancer, and her dying
wish was that I give Emmanuel a sibling.
Within four weeks they passed away. Their
love was something out of this world, and I
always prayed for that love in my life. Soon
after I fell pregnant again: a baby girl who
did not survive. Grief upon grief fuelled my
food obsession and I could not stop eating;
I found comfort in food. When my second
son Massimo was born, I hadn’t dropped
any weight and post his birth I found myselfBreaking traditions
WordsFrances Caratozzolo/Photos byDanny D’melloComing from an Italian
background, Frances’ life
revolved around food. Bullied as
a child for being overweight and
watching her parents’ health
deteriorate, life for the mother-
of-two was a constant physical
and mental battle. It was only
after a serious health scare that
she made the decision to take
back control of her life.