I
consider myself an honest person.
Yet for the past five years or so, I’ve
been keeping a secret from nearly
everyone I know: I get Botox.
I started when I turned 30,
with the intention of blurring the
three distinct lines that ran clear across
my forehead and the frown lines between
my brows, both of which, unlike in my
twenties, now remained etched on my
face, even at rest. Initially, I didn’t tell a
soul. I felt embarrassed that I even had
wrinkles at 30 and that all my go-to face
creams weren’t cutting it anymore, plus
all the girls in my crew seemed naturally
line-free (or so I thought).
I looked at getting Botox like a
secret experiment. The result: I loved
how it made me look. My forehead was
suddenly smooth, yet I could still move
my brows like a normal
human. And although I saw
a dramatic difference, no
one else did. They never
asked. I never told.
Now, five years later,
getting Botox has become a
staple in my beauty routine- something as essential as
keeping my buttery highlights bright
and never skipping a mani. Yet my trips
to the doctor’s office remain on the DL.
Only a select group of girlfriends are in
the know. My family has no clue. And I
have purposely kept this fact from my
boyfriend-turned-fiancé.
And it seems I’m not alone. A few
years ago, UK-based cosmetics company
Transform released survey results that
revealed up to 72 per cent of women keep
non-surgical cosmetic procedures such
as Botox from their friends and family
and half do the same with their partner.
Gervaise Gerstner, a dermatologist
in NYC, even says some of her patients
are so hush-hush about their Botox that
they ask her office for help to hide the
evidence. “Women will split the bill two
or three ways – card, cash and cheque,”
she says. “If they also came in for a mole
check-up, we’ll print out a sheet for
their health insurance and it won’t have
a whisper of Botox on it.”
After surveying many of my close
thirtysomething friends, I discovered the
majority of them are on the secret Botox
bandwagon, too. Why? Well, it seems
that everyone has their own reason for
keeping their Botox-ing to themselves.The anti-Botox boyfriends
For my fiancé, the B-word conjures up
visions of frozen facial features à la the
Real Housewives series. He doesn’t get
that there’s a difference between a tiny
smidge of the wrinkle fighter and then
pumping your face and lips to inflated,
cartoonish proportions with filler.
Christine*, 36, has been covertly
Botox-ing for nearly seven years, keeping
it from her boyfriend-turned-husband
even though most of her
female friends and office
co-workers know. She can
even recall the moment she
knew he’d disapprove. “He
had seen pictures of some
overdone celebrities and said
to me, ‘Don’t even think about
doing that – it’s disgusting,’”
she says. This view is pretty common
amongst guys. “Women know they can’t
get them on board – as a result, many
[of my] female patients feel cornered
into keeping [Botox] a secret,” explains
Meghan O’Brien, a New York derm.The “born like this” illusion
Some Botox-ers keep mum due to fear of
what the procedure portrays to others.
“People want to present themselves as
naturally beautiful and that they’re the
real thing – it’s much more attractive to
others,” says Eric Finzi, author of The
Face of Emotion: How Botox Affects Moods
and Relationships. Admitting to Botox
suggests “they’re not beautiful solely
from their genes and good health, and
that’s where the taboo is,” adds Finzi.
A part of me felt that by being so
focused on a few facial lines, I seemed
superficial and vain. Plus, sometimes it’snot just about convincing others. By
obscuring my lines, deep down I’ve been
able to convince myself that the hands
of time aren’t ticking quite so quickly
(a comforting thought) because, well,
my skin bears no sign of it.The competitive edge
“A lot of my younger patients get Botox
because they want to look better than
their friends,” says LA derm Jessica Wu.
You’d never know it, though. Although
this age group is known for oversharing
on Twitter and Instagram, that doesn’t
apply when it comes to Botox. “If a friend
had asked me, ‘You look so young. What
are you doing?’ I wouldn’t say ‘Botox.’
I’d say, ‘I just take really good care of
my skin,’” admits Daphne*, 31, who first
started Botox-ing at 23.
But now that I’ve officially outed
myself from the secret Botox society,
I’m adopting a different attitude about
it. Botox makes me look good and feel
good. There shouldn’t be any shame in
that. And to my guy; honey, I’m sorry
I didn’t tell you sooner.THINKING
ABOUT BOTOX?
READ THIS
FIRST...It marked one of the biggest revolutions
in beauty, but few people actually talk about it- until now. Here, Nicole Catanese reveals all
“People want
to present
themselves
as naturally
beautiful”ADDITIONAL REPORTING BY LEIGH CAMPBELL. *NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED. SNAPPER MEDIA
GET REAL ABOUT YOUR MOTIVATION
Why are you considering it? It should
be because you’re stressed about a
line on your own face, not because
your BFF is line-free or a milestone
birthday is looming.MAKE SURE IT’S REALLY A WRINKLE
If it is, Botox can help. It it’s texture or
tone, lasers could be a better solution.
It’s best to get a recommendation from
your derm or skincare professional.SO YOU WANT BOTOX?
If your mind’s made up, it pays to get
a recommendation from someone
whose result you like. Pricing is per
unit, with most providers charging
between $8 and $16 per unit – usually
anywhere between 16 and 40 units are
required depending on the area and
desired result. Finally, expect Botox
to last for four to six months. #COSMOPOLITAN June 2015 125