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but for many women, it’s uphill
terrain. Despite our many
advancements in the name of
feminism, unfortunately when
it comes to orgasms we’re still
the underdogs, according to
Cosmopolitan’s US survey of
2300 women aged 18 to 40.
Dishearteningly, only 57 per
cent of women have an orgasm
most or every time they have
sex with a partner, while 95
per cent say their partner does.
A substantial 42 per cent of
women revealed that the last
time they had sex, their partner
had an orgasm but they didn’t,
and 72 per cent have had a
partner climax before them
but not make an attempt to
help them finish. “We still
prioritise men’s orgasms,” says
Debby Herbenick, director of
Indiana University’s Centre for
Sexual Health Promotion.
Maybe that’s because
when a man finishes, too oftensex does too. Or because the
male orgasm is a neatly tied
bow, while ours is more like
a Valentino gown (it’s complex
and takes a while to construct,
but boy, is it gorgeous). Of
course, it can be hard to explain
all this to a partner – which is
probably why, despite 78 per
cent of women saying they
believe their partner cares
whether they orgasm, 67 per
cent admit to having faked it.
The good news: we’re
making strides towards closing
the gap. When asked how most
of their orgasms happen, 39
per cent of women said by using
their hand or a sex toy rather
than relying on a partner. And
our data shows that women get
more assertive with age and
experience. “It’s about exploring
‘what feels good for me?’” says
ob-gyn Jennifer Ashton, senior
medical contributor for ABC
News. “That’s the fun part.”Ready, se t, O!
HAVING AN ORGASM IS MORE LIKE
A MARATHON THAN A SPRINT –Get out of
your own way
NOT ALL WOMEN NEED TO HAVE AN ORGASM EVERY
TIME FOR SEX TO BE HOT, SAYS HERBENICK, BUT MOST
WOULD LIKE MORE. THESE THREE TIPS CAN HELP...Ready, se t, O!
1.
(Silently) tell yourself
how much you’re turning
him on. Even if he’s the silent
type, seeing his face as he’s
lost in ecstasy – and realising
you’re making it all happen- can be the push
you need.
HOW TO HAVE AN ORGASM
exactly