i
I was at a crowded bar in my hometown, on a scorching summer
night when I mustered up enough liquid courage to approach the
future love of my life. He was tall, muscular and blond, with stone-
grey eyes and a low, gravelly voice. I was intrigued. But when I
suggested we go out for a beer, he gave a polite yet immediate
“no”. Tim later confessed he thought I was beautiful and smart,
but there was one thing working against me – I was 21, he was
47 – and unlike most men who’d be flattered by a younger woman
showing interest in them, he thought that going on a date with
a woman young enough to be his daughter would be ridiculous.
Fast-forward five years and I’m insanely in love with this
man. I’d never dated an older man, nor did I ever imagine I would
(although I did always find Harrison Ford more attractive than
Chace Crawford, so maybe it’s been inside me all along). But Tim
is young at heart and I have an old soul, so we meet in the middle
(I’m now 26, he’s 52). He spends weekends jumping out of planes,
and I spend them reading a book at the drop zone waiting for
him to land. And despite Tim’s initial blow-off, we have quite a
bit in common. We’re both driven and goal-oriented (he’s a former
Navy Seal turned entrepreneur, and I’m a safety specialist for a
company that manufactures gear motors). We are both in love
with our families and obsessed with our two sweet dogs.
Despite all the love, we’ve been called every name in the
book – I must be a gold digger and have daddy issues, he must
be a pervert or be very immature to love me. I’ve been confronted
in public a few times, by drunk people at bars who say I’m an
embarrassment to my family for loving him. Our own families
have spent hours begging us to choose between each other and
them. My parents are terrified of the thought that he will pass
away around the time they do, and I’ll be left alone. His daughters,
whom he had young and are around my age, have a strong loyalty
to their mother (his ex-wife) and have struggled to let me in. At
times, both of our families have been somewhat embarrassed by
our relationship. When his daughters’ friends see pictures of me
and Tim, his daughters feel the need to explain, “Yes, that’s his
girlfriend. Yes, she’s really young.” We ourselves have been a bit
embarrassed too – like one time when a stranger assumed Tim
was my dad and we had to correct him.
The reality is that I come from a regular suburban family.
I have a phenomenal father. I bought my first house (without Tim’s
help) at 23. Tim had never dated a younger woman before me –
he was married for 18 years to a woman his age and divorced
for five years before our paths even crossed. And I’m happy to
report that being with an older man has made me feel like I hit
the intimacy jackpot. My boyfriend is sexy (think Jason Statham),
and he’s had years to master his skills. No, he doesn’t need to take
Viagra to be with me. And yes, he loves to focus on my pleasure.
I am one very lucky woman.
Still, we’re both smart enough to know that being madly
in love with each other isn’t enough. He still struggles with >“My Boyfriend’s Old
Enough to Be My Dad.
No, It’s Not Creepy”
COSMOPOLITAN November 2015 127
BY RACHEL FRANCISGETTY IMAGES
love & lust