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BY MONIQUE EL-FAIZY“I’M LIVING
A LIFE
‘DO-OVER’
WITH A
YOUNGER
MAN”
When my marriage collapsed
in a cascade of discoveries
about my husband, I did what
many women before me have
done: I fled to a place where
I thought I would be able to
heal and find clarity. But my
elected haven wasn’t really a
mecca for eating or praying.
Instead, I chose to relocate
with my two young sons to a
country in turmoil, arriving on
the bloodiest day in its history.
On August 14, 2013, the day
Egyptian forces killed over
700 civilian demonstrators- including a British journalist
who had been a guest at a
dinner party I had thrown –
I moved to Egypt.
While looking for peace
there may sound insane, for
me the move was a lifesaver.
In Cairo, I resurrected the
bold, adventurous woman
I’d been two decades earlier,
before I’d yielded to all the
pressures and should-dos of
grown-up life.
I had met my former
husband in the then-Soviet
Moscow, where I’d moved
from Paris in search of a job
in journalism. We kissed for
the very first time on a snow-
carpeted Red Square and,
after we got married, lived
in Hong Kong and London
before moving back to the
US for what I thought would
be just a temporary period
of career building before we
set off on more adventures.
Twenty years and two kids
later, we were still in New
York, settled as firmly as if
our feet had been cemented
there. I was happy... until my
marriage fell apart.
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otssat
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I’m doing with an old man. We have also had to talk about the
inevitability of my raging into my prime (whatever that means)
while he ages past his. I’m saddened by the thought that I will
outlive him, yet I find immense comfort in knowing that I get
to spend any time at all loving him.
We struggle with the idea of having children. His kids are
grown, and he doesn’t know if he could start all over. Meanwhile
I can’t imagine not creating life out of our love, but I’m terrified
my children will grow up to hate me because they won’t get the
same time with their dad that most kids do. Then I remember that
what really matters is that children are born into an abundance
of love – and that’s one thing our home hasn’t lacked since we
moved in together just a few weeks after our first date.
Our hearts have shattered over the complicated nature of
our relationship, but they have mended with the ease and joy of
our love. There have been a couple of times when we have tried
to leave each other – but we were never able to stay away for long.
We aren’t sure what is going to happen in the future, but we’re
sure that life together is our kind of perfect. We both believe in
marriage, and we want that when the time is right. Right now,
we’re exactly where we are supposed to be in this world – next
to each other – and that is where we are going to stay.128 COSMOPOLITAN.com.au TO SUBSCRIBE CALL 136 116
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An older guy is
worth his salt
(and pepper).my age and thinks one morning I’ll wake up and wonder what