COSMOPOLITAN November 2015 135
SEX Q&A
No-BS responses to questions you can only ask Cosmo
Q. My BF drinks too much at parties to
relieve his social awkwardness, then he
acts weird and embarrasses me. How
can I break this cycle?A. You’ve got to talk about this directly.
When he’s sober. Be supportive, but ask
him matter-of-factly to cut back. Say,
“I understand you drink when you go
out because you’re shy, but you don’t
need to booze. You’re cooler when you
drink less. I’d love to see you be the
guy in public that you are around me.”love & lust
Q. When I climax from
sex, my orgasm feels
strong. When I orgasm
from masturbating with
a clitoral vibe, they feel
really light like a fl uttering
butterfl y. Why is that?A. All orgasms are pretty
fan-freaking-tastic, but
you’re right – they don’t
all feel exactly the same.
Different kinds of orgasms
stimulate different nerve
pathways to the brain,
and some of those nerves
trigger stronger brain
responses and Os, says
sex researcher Beverly
Whipple, professor emerata
at Rutgers University in
New Jersey. More nerve
pathways may also lead to
more powerful climaxes.
In her ongoing research,
Whipple says, “Women
report that orgasm from
stimulation of the area
around the G-spot feels
deeper, perhaps because
more than one pelvic
nerve is stimulated.”
Clitoral love stimulates
only one nerve – the
pudendal. Luckily, you
don’t have to pick just
one favourite orgasm.
You can collect ’em all!Q. I overheard a guy say
that he sometimes fakes
orgasms. How is that even
possible, and why would
a guy fake an orgasm?A. For the same reason
that women fake them- they’re tired, they’re
just not feeling it, or they
hear the siren call of a
new episode of Keeping
Up With the Kardashians.
“Many people think that
it’s impossible, but if a
guy is wearing a condom,
he can certainly fake an
orgasm,” says Debby
Herbenick, an associate
professor at Indiana
University. Contrary
to popular belief, guys
aren’t just sex robots
who can automatically
spring erections (or
orgasms for that matter)
on demand. They are
complex sexual beings,
just like women. “There
is a lot of pressure on
guys to perform,” says
Herbenick. “That in and
of itself can be a good
reason for a guy to fake
an orgasm.”
Q. My BFF told me I can
get pregnant from period
sex. I’m confused. How?A. “It’s a myth that you
can’t get pregnant on your
period,” says ob-gyn Dr
Sherry Ross. Say you have
a short menstrual cycle- 21-24 days – and you
have sex at the end of
your period. If his sperm
lives inside you for three
days, by that time you
may already be ovulating,
producing an egg that
can be fertilised by that
lingering sperm. Don’t risk
it – whip out the condoms.
SEX TOY
OF THE
MONTHWHAT’S THE BEST TOY... FOR FULL-COVERAGE STIMULATION?
This sexy little tulip has full-coverage petals to intimately caress every part of you – plus it has 10 intense
vibration functions. Jopen Lust L5 USB Rechargeable Massager, $85.95 (wildsecrets.com.au). #Q. I’m sleeping with a guy who says
“thank you” after we have sex. It’s very,
uh, polite, but it feels weird, like I’m a
prostitute. Am I just overthinking it?A. Of all the stupid things a guy might
say right after an orgasm leaves him
gasping for breath, “thank you” is not
even in the top 50. Yes, you are kind of
overthinking it. He doesn’t think you’re
a ho. He’s just appreciative... and maybe
inexperienced. He’s still thrilled that
you chose him to get it on with. (And
there’s only so many times you can say
“that was ahhhmazing” before it sounds
insincere.) That said, if his gratitude
bugs you, just let him know. Tell him
thanks but no “thanks”.Q. THE NEW GUY I’M DATING JUST
REVEALED HE’S CHEATED BEFORE.
HE SAYS IT WAS A ONE-TIME THING.
BUT I’M WORRIED. IS THE SAYING
“ONCE A CHEATER, ALWAYS A
CHEATER” TRUE?A. Look, we have all done something
that we will never do again. Hopefully,
we learn from our mistakes. Nobody’s
future is determined by his past. Your
guy is not a screw-up just because he
screwed up. You should be sceptical
’cos he cheated but also heartened
that he admitted a mistake.WORDS BY MICHELLE RUIZ. MICHAEL CREAGH/THE LICENSING PROJECT