Cosmopolitan_Australia__November_2015

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YES, WE

KANYE!

Your guide to Kanye West’s policies on

the 2020 presidential campaign trail

Expect black and gold and

all of dem chains. Damn,

what would Jeromey Romey

Romey Rome think?

President West says: “You

don’t see just how fly my style

is? I don’t see why I need

a stylist when I shop so much

I can speak Italian.” #

Move over ObamaCare,

Yeezy is on the case

to bling-up all of his

constituents. Well if he

throws in free Kim K

bum implants, we’re

totally voting West.

President West says:

“ ...my music isn’t just

music – it’s medicine.”

If his VMA ramble is

anything to go by,

we’re going to need to

set up tents and bring

supplies. Hurry up with

our damn croissants!

President West says:

“We’re led by the least

noble ... and the most

political. In no way am

I a politician – I’m at my

best politically incorrect

and very direct.”

Just like The College

Dropout himself, the

best education is on

the street! Holla!

President West says:

“I would never want

a book’s autograph.

I am a proud non-

reader of books.”

Prepare for a sneaky

sex tape leak from the

Oval Office, just in time

for elections! ’Cos you

know his mumager-in-

law wouldn’t have it

any other way.

President West says:

“For the most part, I’d

rather people have

one of those home

videos than some of

the paparazzi shots

that get published.

At least I recorded

that shit myself.”

From Jay Z to Beyoncé and

Rihanna – every leader has a

clique, and Kanye’s will

certainly reign supreme.

President West says: “If you

know you’re the best, it only

makes sense for you to

surround yourself with the

best. No exceptions.”

Long gone are her days of

following around Paris Hilton –

ain’t no basic bitches up in here.

President West says:

“Michelle Obama cannot

Instagram a pic like what my

girl Instagrammed the other

day.” We haven’t seen a bikini

selfie of Mrs Obama... yet.

I’m real happy for you

(’cos you bought Cosmo)

and Imma let you read on

(’cos it’s awesome), but

Beyoncé had one of the best

videos OF ALL TIME!

President West says: “Respect

my trendsetting abilities. Once

that happens, everyone* wins.”

*As long as you’re Bey!

GRILLZ

ARE ON THE

HEALTH CARE

PLAN

YOU KNOW HIS

INAUGURATION

SPEECH WILL

GO FOR A

WEEK – AND

HE’LL RAP IT

THE LEARNING

CURRICULUM

WILL COME FROM

THE SCHOOL

OF YEEZY

KRIS JENNER

WILL BE

POLITICAL

ADVISOR

CONGRESS WILL

BE MADE UP OF

THE ILLUMINATI

KIM K WILL BE THE

FIRST LADY TO END

ALL FIRST LADIES

BEYONCÉ WOULD WIN

ALL THE AWARDS

THE WHITE HOUSE

IS IN FOR ONE

HELLUVA REFURB

WORDS BY MEL E

VANS. GETTY I

MAGES

Kanye be like,

“Imma be

president.”