Cosmopolitan_Australia_2016-03_

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WOR


VER!


JUST CLUELESS UM, NO CHEQUE, PLEASE! SO OFFENSIVE EPIC FAIL DERANGED

only in cosmo


–Max,22






   


 






 


 


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%&– Alex, 21


GUY


CONFESSION


“In the middle of a movie,
he started nibbling my neck.
Then he whispered in my ear
that he was a 2000-year-old
vampire in a human body. I
looked at him, expecting it to
be a joke, but he was serious.”
MONICA, 25

“This guy took me out to a
restaurant and didn’t tell me
his mum worked there as a
waitress. She waited on us,
atewithusandthenpaid.”
LAURA, 28

“On our first date, he told me he was
into puppetry. When we went out
again, he brought a puppet that
looked just like me. He gave it a
name similar to mine and made it
talk with my mannerisms! It felt
creepy and obsessive.”
TATIANA, 24

“He cancelled on me last minute,
claiming a family emergency. Then
he texted me that the date was back
on and asked me to pick him up.
He was drunk and had me drive him
and his friends to the restaurant.”
AMBER, 25

“Over dinner, he
asked me how old
I was, then followed up
by asking if I would ever
consider freezing my eggs.
What are you, my doctor?
Igotoutofthere.”
SKYE, 34

“He took me
into his room –
which had bunkbeds


  • and then he put on
    High School Musical 2.
    Not sexy, dude.”
    VICKIE, 18


“We started talking
about girls he’d
dated in the past,
and he said, ‘I’m
clearly a chubby
chaser.’ And winked
at me! Rude.”
ZULMA, 19

COSMOPOLITAN March 2016 21

Free download pdf