Men_s Health Australia - April 2016__

GUY

LIST

3 /USE YOUR

HEAD

Telling the barber to

do something

differentcanbeafatal

mistake if you don’t

set some ground

rules. Get the barber

toshowyouapicture

of the style he’s going

for, so you know

what’s coming. Asking

for the number of the

clipper attachment (1

being shortest at

2mm, 4 being the

longest at 10mm) will

give you an idea of

what he has in store.

And remember, if your

barber has the latest

styleandyougivehim

free rein, you’ll more

than likely end up with

what he’s got.

Steve Salecich,founder

of Grand Royal Barbers

4 /AIN’T ABOUT

THEMONEY

Her birthday is never

thetimetoskimp–but

the perfect gift doesn’t

need to cost a bomb,

either. It sounds

clichéd, but it really is

the thought that

counts here. All a girl

really wants is to know

that you’ve put a little

timeandeffort(okay,a

lot)intochoosingthe

“perfect” present.

Does it need to be

diamonds? No. Just

something that

appeals to her

passions, or speaks of

something you share.

If all else fails, send

flowers to her

workplace. She might

insist she hates it –

trustme,shedoesnot.

Emily Taylor,editor of

INSTYLE magazine

2 /STAY CLASSY

Aside from the

obvious – opting for

water–avoid

hangoversbybeing

exclusive with your

drink choice. Kicking

offwithredwine,

swapping to gin, then

downing tequila will

ensure tomorrow’s a

write-off. If you are

calling for shots,

select 100 per cent

agave tequila. The

quality of raw

ingredients and

specific production

methods create a

spirit that is void of

the additional sugar

products found in

cheaper spirits,

lessening the risk

of a head-splitter.

Gee David,head

mixolgist, Southtrade

International

12ThingsYouInstantlyRegret

A ROUND OF SHOTS. MANSHAKES. BUDGET UMBRELLAS.

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING?

1 /COOL IT

Noticing anger

signals early gives

youachanceto

intervene before you

lose it. Remember,

your mum’s attention

is just her way of

saying,“Imissyou;

I need you”. Still

feeling your

temperature rising?

Get out of there. Go

to the shops or take a

walk around the

block. You’ll return

with a different

perspective.

Dan Auerbach,

relationship therapist

Tellingyourbarberyou

want to “try something new”

ChancesarethisguyisaPicasso

wannabe.Don’tgivehimcarte

blanche on you r he ad.

Bringing up politics

withacabbie

An awkward silence is preferable

to whatever’s going to come after,

“I’m not racist, but... ”

Going for the manshake

when the other guy plays

it straight

Whatareyou,anextrain

Jay-Z’sentourage?Stickwith

the handshake, DeAndre.

Skimping on her

birthday present

She wants to feel like the only girl

intheworldforaday.Doyou

really want to be reminded for the

remaining 364 days that you failed?

Buying an umbrella

from the $2 shop

Bitter experience tells you this

isn’t a wise purchase. The slightest

pu f f of w i nd c on f i r m s it. A g a i n.

AdmittingthatyoufindJulie

Bishop strangely alluring

Thepowersuits,theicystare,

the killer heels – trust us,

thesepredilectionsarebest

kept to yourself.

Telling a mate you’ll

help him move

Trustus,acaseofbeerisnotan

adequate payment for a

herniated disc.

Answering a private

phone number

You k now not h i n g go o d

cancomeofthis,butstill

there’s that ineluctable urge

to hit “receive”.

Snapping at your mum

Thequestions,thenagging,

thefussiness.Letitgo,champ.

Youeverseenawoman

in labour?

Going for the shoulder charge

inagameofmixedtouchfooty

Good hit! Everyone on the park

• including the J-Law lookalike
  on the wing – now thinks you’re
  captain douche.

Suggestingaroundofshots

Yeah,therewasthatlegendary

nightbackinfirst-yearuni.But

youdidn’thavean8:45am

presentation the next morning.

Telling your partner you’ll

watch the first episode of

TheBachelorwith her

Yep,you’renowlockedinforthe

remainder of the season. And

the inevitable dinner-table

conversations about “that kiss”.

146 APRIL 2016

ILLUSTRATIONS: BREN LUKE

@ THE ILLUSTRATION ROOM