Silent
witness
Itseemslikeyoucan’tflick on
the news without seeing
astoryaboutanother sad
case of domestic
violence. But what
doyoudoiftheissue
is closer to home?
D
omesticviolenceisaheavy
subject and understandably so
–itcanhavelife-threatening
consequences.It’ssoheavythatit
canfeellikeit’stoobigtodealwith.But,
forsomeofyou,there’snogettingaway.Formanyof
you guys, living with domestic violence means it’s
happeninginyourhome,toaclosefriendortoanother
personwhomatterstoyouandit’seatingyouup.
Youdon’tneedtobetheactualvictimofviolencetobe
deeplyaffectedbyit–feelingsofhopelessness,shameandfear
are very common. Debbie Seldon from Ladybug Counselling
has the all-important info on how to deal with the really hard
position of being a silent witness.Janelle*is 16 and her parents
splitupbackwhenshewasin
Year5.Hermum’snewboyfriend
movedinanddrankheavilymost
nights.Thealcoholbroughtout
theangrysideofhimandhestartedtohithermum.
“Ifeltsolost,”Janellesays.“Mygradesstartedtoslip,
Iwouldn’tsocialiseoutsideofschoolbecauseIfeltlike
I needed to be home to protect my younger brother.”
GirlslikeJanellesometimesfeeltheyhaveto
shouldertheburdenofwhatishappeningathome,
even though they are obviously not at fault.
“Theyareforcedtogrowupquickly,”Debbiesays.“[But]if
you’re going through this kind of situation, it is really important
youunderstandthatyouarenottheonewhoshouldfeel
responsible for what is happening. Whether that means you
thinkyoucanstopit,orthatyouneedtobetheadultto
younger siblings – you should remember that you are the
onewhoshouldbeprotectedbytheadultsaroundyou.”
Thethingis,youdeserveyourhometofeellikeasafehaven.
It’snotyourresponsibilitytofixthesituation,butyoucanmake
stepstohelphealyourfamily.Ifyoufeelcomfortable,discuss
yoursituationwithanadultyoutrust–eventheone
who is experiencing the violence. They might feel
theviolenceisnotaffectingyouasmuchasitisandit
couldpromptthemtoseekhelp.Butifthispersonistooscared
anddisempoweredtoact?Dependingonthesituation,
itmightbetimetoreachouttoyourschoolcounsellorwho
can connect you with extra help, a refuge, or to the police.When it
happens
to you.girlfriend.com.au 46 girlfriendMAG