Rninyourlifetheadults
around you are, or should be, the
people you look up to. They def
seem irritating at times, but they
are there to guide you to make good
decisions. But what if an adult you
like and trust is going through
somethingasdangerous,
damaging and demeaning as
domestic violence, and they
are the ones who need help?
Jessica*saysherYear8
teacher was everyone’s fave,
sincehewassofunnyandalways
theretohelpwithschoolwork
struggles.“But,thenarumour
startedaroundschoolthathis
wife was really violent toward
him. He had marks on his neck,
and one time went to hospital
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and her classmates to know how
to help, because they felt there
wasn’t much they could do but
watchhimtrytohidehisscars.
“In these situations, young people
canfeelliketheyneedtosavetheadults, or play the adult, to help
someone they care about,” says
Debbie. “When it is someone you
care about, but it’s not in your home,
theverymostyoucandoisdiscussit
with another adult you trust, or with
the adult it is happening to.”
Again, you’ve gotta remember
you personally can’t save the world
on your own, unforch and it isn’t
your burden to bear. “What you need
to focus on is understanding that
this is not something that needs to
be on your shoulders.”
If you’re worried about a teacher,
or another adult in your life, speak to
another person of authority that you
trustandletthemhandlethe
situation they should be equipped
to deal with.
You might feel alone and
powerless as a bystander when faced
with this devastating thing that can
eat away at people you care about,
but you aren’t alone at all - you can
always reach out for help.If you or someone you love is in
DYLROHQW KRXVHKROG RU VLWXDWLRQ
contact reachout.com.au; Lifeline
on 13 11 14 or if there is
immediate danger, call 000.We all want the best for our besties and
we’d assume they live in happy, safe
homes. But this isn’t the case for
everyone. Fifteen-year-old Erin*^
started getting worried about
her bestie Carrie* when her
ERG\âVWDUWHGVKRZLQJVLJQVRI
abuse. “Carrie would come to
school with bruise finger marks on
her arms and scratches [on her
body],” says Erin. “It turned out it
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their mum would aim her
aggression at her sister. Carrie
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“Quite often, domestic violence is
a cycle – a violent parent very often is
mimicking the damaging behaviour
they experienced growing up,” explains
Debbie. “But, when you’re in a safe
home with loving family members,
it’s very confronting to realise not all
households are like that. Especially
when you’re dealing with someone
you care about.”
Debbie says that in Australia,
schools are legally obliged to file
a police report with any complaints of
domestic violence. This means you
can go to a teacher and tell them your
concerns. You will never be named as
the one who did so, but it could make
a big difference to the life and safety
of your friend.
It is also
important to let
your friend know
that you are there
for them, without
judgement. It can
make all the
difference for them
to know they have
someone they can
open up to. Just be
careful not to carry
too much of the
burden; perhaps
suggesting they
speaktoaschoolcounsellor, too.
“It can be really, really hard to take
steps to help when something like this
is happening,” says Debbie. “This
shouldn’t be on your shoulders.
However, there are ways you can
anonymously help your friend.”When it
happens to
someone
less familiar.When it
happens to
your bestie.T IS ALSO
TA N T TO
LET YOUR
FRIEND KNOW
THAT YOU
ARE THERE
FOR THEM,
WITHOUT
JUDGEMENT.
30%
OF FEMALES SAY THEY HAVE EXPERIENCED
PHYSICAL VIOLENCE SINCE THE AGE OF 15.+
ROUGHLY
Want to help?
THERE ARE HEAPS OF WAYS
YOU CAN ASSIST WITH THE
),*+7â$*$,167'20(67,&
9,2/(1&(,1&/8',1*
Talk to your school about
participating in the Breaking the
Silence programme from WhiteRibbon (whiteribbon.com.au).
undraise for a women’s refugeF
shelter in your area (vinnies.org.au
is a good starting point).
RQDWHWDPSRQVYLD6KDUH'
7KH'LJQLW\ZKLFKZLOOKHOS
women who have fled with
nothing (sharethedignity.com.au).girlfriend.com.au 47 girlfriendMAGGF feature
:25'6
RIKKI HODGE-SMITH
PHOTOGRAPHY
GETTY IMAGES
*NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED+2012 ABS PERSONAL SAFETY SURVEY