GF ADVICE WARNING: CONTENT IS SENSITIVE
FEND
life
SEND YOUR QUESTIONS TO:GF LIFE ADVICE, GPO BOX 7801, SYDNEY NSW 2001
[email protected] ‘Life Advice’ in the subject line.Could
I be bi?
I’ve never identified as a lesbian and have had
crushes on guys since I was little. But I’ve been talking
to a girl who is a lesbian and I’m really attracted to her.
I know she feels the same way. Does this make me bisexual
or is this a normal part of growing up? Wondering
It is a normal part of growing up. Every GF reader’s sexuality is
different and it’s not just ‘gay’ or ‘straight’. Some people are
attracted to only one sex and others are attracted to a diversity of
people regardless of sex or gender, with a lot of different
preferences in between. Some gay, lesbian or bisexual people
say from an early age they ‘felt different’ and had crushes on
people of the same sex, only associating these feelings
with being gay or bisexual later on. Many people
don’t discover their sexual attractions until
much later in life.Unfair names
I’m 15 and I hooked up with a guy
who is 17 at a party. We had been
drinking and he fingered me and
gave me oral sex. I’m not sure how
to feel about this – either good
because it was my first time, or
bad because one friend asked if he
took advantage because I was
drunk. Everyone’s calling me
a slut!Shamed
Calling someone a slut is an attempt to
take away her power and demean her
forbeingsexual.Womenaresexual
andexpressingthatsexualityisn’t
a reflection of if they are ‘good’ or ‘bad’.
Feelings of uncertainty about your
first time are normal. Instead of
listening to the negativity of your
‘friend’, it would be more useful for you
to think about this as a learning
experience – what did you like, what
didn’t you and what you would do
differently if you could.Judgy friends
I’ve been going out with this boy
for some time – we keep it secret
from his friends, but all mine
know. Some of his friends don’t
like me – it makes it awkward for
us. So in class we rarely talk now,
instead of f lirting with each
other. I know he’s trying to keep
his friends from judging me, but
it makes me upset. Sad
You are right to be concerned. Some
people prefer secrecy if they’re not sure
where the relationship is headed. Others
keep it quiet because they are already
going out with someone else, or not over
their last relationship. I’m not sure what the
situation is here. Either way, his secrecy
should give you concern. Someone who
truly cares about you should be proud to
tell other people. Tell him you don’t like the
secrecy and if he doesn’t listen – leave.Want
to reach out?
Confused about your
sexuality or looking for
some support? The legends
at Minus 18 are totally
here for you:
minus18.org.auSO SHY
I just finished my first year of high school
and I feel all my problems areto do with
shyness, nosiness and taking things too
seriously. All the swimmers in my squad
are faster than me and are skinny with
abs and I’m big with jelly thighs. How
do I overcome this?Wallflower
Many GF readers think a lot about how their
bodies look and compare their bodies with
others. One of the first rules of achieving
a healthy and happy body image is to stop
allowing ‘put-downs’ in front of the mirror.
Post notes with positive messages on your
mirror to remind yourself of your good
qualities.Ditchthethingsinyourlifethat
make you feel inferior, whether that is
friends whodon’t build you up or TV shows
that portray men and women in a way that
makes you feel inferior, If negative
thoughts about your body become
overwhelming,talktoyourdoctor or
a psychologist or counsellor.PHOTOGRAPHYGETTY IMAGESILLUSTRATIONSSYBELLA THOMPSONDISCLAIMERINFORMATION ON THIS PAGE IS NOT INTENDED TO REPLACE A VISIT TO YOUR GP FOR ANY MEDICAL CONCERN.THE AGE OF CONSENT IS 16 YEARS OLD (17 IN SA AND Tas.) IF YOU OR YOUR PARTNER IS OVER 16, AND THE OTHER ISN’T AT LEAST 16, SEX IS ILLEGAL.
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