Kissing, or even just being close to
someone you have (or had) feelings for,
kick-startsachemicalreactionin
the body that can be hard control.
Awaveofneurotransmittersand
hormones like the ‘cuddle hormone’
oxytocin, plus ‘feel-good’ guys
dopamine and serotonin are released
intothebodyandsignalfeelingsof
love, lust and passion. “This chemical
cocktail, in particular the rush of dopamine associated
with pleasure, addiction and reward, sends us into
DHXSKRULFKLJKVD\V.DWLD$JRRGNLVVKDVDOVREHHQ
VKRZQWRPDNHVRPHRQHDSSHDUPRUHDWWUDFWLYH8P
WTH body?! Confused, much? And speaking of confusion,
you’re pretty much guaranteed to feel it when you’re
around your ex. Even if things ended badly between you
guys,therushassociatedwithdoingsomethingyouknow
iswrongcanfeelasaddictiveasMaking a Murderer.
“Allofasudden,youcan’tstopthinkingaboutthatone
SHUVRQZKR\RXWKRXJKW\RXFRXOGOLYHZLWKRXWHe’s c d, you’ve changed, the whole vibe has changed. Whatever the feels,
it’s important to take a moment to really see the situation for what it is. Are
you guys seriously going to get back together, or does it just feel comfortable
and easy? Sometimes a little heartache saves more pain down the track,
especially if your ex moves on before you do. “You broke up for a reason and
either you like each other enough to be together, or you need to communicate
with your ex and deal with the underlying issues... or you need to move on
altogether,” says Katia. It’s usually easier to tell yourself that he or she will
come around eventually than it is to realise there’s no real future for you guys
(or genuine happiness in the here and now). Worst of all, this kind of behaviour
messes with your own self-worth and self-esteem, fogging up your brain with
thoughts like ‘what if’ and questions about how you can change or what you
could have done better. Girl, you’re perfect! Ain’t nobody got time for that.Ending things for good can be the trickiest
part,particularlyifitfeelslikethepowerisin
your ex’s hands. First, acknowledge that it’s
notagreatidea,nomatterhowgoodit
feels. Talk to your friends about it, and listen
to what they have to say – if your on-again-
off-again romance comes at the cost of
your closest friendships, it’s so not worth it.
Having your friends’ support is what will get
youthroughthecrappytimes.Takedown
photos you still have hanging around of the
two of you and remove all the mementos
you’re keeping in your room. Think of this
asa‘goodbyeritual’.Deletetheirnumber,
andunfollowthemonsocialmedia.Yeah,
itseemsprettybrutal,butseeingaphoto
of them on your feed when you’re feeling
extra-vulnerable is literally the worst. Bail
onanyeventswhereyouthinkyouguys
mightbumpintooneanother.Layinglow
for awhile, hanging out with your besties
and, most importantly, spending time solo,
will help you move on. Change up your
routine to help you feel more in control
of your life and if you feel like your self-
worthisdangerouslylow,makealistofall
thethingsthatmakeyouamegababeand
stickitupsomewherecloseby(andyes,
knowingallthelyricstoSwiftycounts).“A good kiss
has also been
shown to
make someone appear
more attractive.”
Brain
chemistry
101
Same,same
BUT DIFFERENT
girlfriend.com.au 91 girlfriendMAGWORDS
URSULA MACARTHUR
PHOTOGRAPHY
GETTY IMAGES
GF love
Hooking up with your ex is only going to lead
to more drama (and it could be your brain messing
with you, not your heart really, truly wanting them
back). It’s going to be tough and you’ll feel crappy for
a little while, but if a squad of excellent people surrounds
you, you’ll get through it. And waiting on the other side
are endless fun times and group photo opportunities. So
many, in fact, that you won’t even remember why you
hooked up with your ex again in the first place.BREAK the
(^4) cycle
3
2
TL;DR?