They’re
interested
but
haven’t
come
out.
Firstly, congrats on the
great news that they are
into you too. But, you
have a hurdle ahead of
you. This is exactly what
happened to Sarah.
“I told Emma* by
private message that I liked
her and luckily, she said she
felt the same way,” says
Sarah. “But, she said
hardly anyone knew she
was bisexual and she was
scared to come out to
her parents. It makes
things hard.”
“A secret relationship
can be tricky,” says Vanessa.
“It can leave you feeling
unacknowledged
and like
something
needs to
be hidden.
“Perhaps with
a bit of support
and time, she
will be more sure
of her feelings
and preferences
and find the
courage to come out.”
Find out exactly where she
is in her journey. If she is
a long time from being
ready to come out, you
might need to keep the
relationship friendly and
find someone you can
celebrate your relationship
with – out in the open.1
Thoseromanticfeels
are the same no matter your sexual
preference.Butasame-sexcrush
comeswithitsownsetof
stufftodealwith...
GIRL CRUSH
Sarah*is 16 and knows all too well how scary
this can be. “I was terrified when I started
to have feelings for a girl in my class,” she
says. “Everyone knows I’m gay and are totally
fine with it. But I wasn’t sure how she’d feel
once she knew I was crushing on her.”
Psychologist Dr. Vanessa Thiele says you
need courage to make yourself vulnerable
in a relationship. “Relationships, even
crushes, involve taking risks and
sometimes making fools of ourselves. The
added bump with same-sex relationships isyou’re often not sure whether someone
shares your sexual preference. Plus, there’s
all the regular uncertainty around trying to
read whether someone likes you back or is
sending mixed signals.
“But most times things don’t work out
half as bad as we expect. Try getting to
know your crush better as a friend.”
Some things to consider before you
take the step of spilling all your feelings
is making sure you’re really into them.
And as Dr. Vanessa says, “Action cures fear”.
Just do it and often you’ll think, ‘Hey, that
wasn’t so bad after all!’Telling them is a BIG deal.
They’re straight.
Understand that, of course, this isn’t your fault. Just as you are naturally
attracted to girls, others are simply naturally attracted to the opposite sex
only. If they’re your friend, or even just a good person, they’ll be flattered and
understanding of your feelings and won’t make you feel bad about being honest.
“Findacceptanceinthesituation,”Vanessaurges.“Itiswhatitis–it’snot
that they’re rejecting you personally.”
Remember, regardless whether you win your crush over or the whole
thing fizzles out, you have an exciting life of crushing ahead of you!Crushes
can be the best
AND the worst. On one
hand, the feels! Constantly
refreshing their Insta page to
see what’s up and mentally
putting your face in their selfies.
On the other hand, the feels!
Freaking out and overanalysing
errythang they say/do. And if
your crush is a girl, too?
Here’s how to
deal if...girlfriend.com.au 93 girlfriendMAGWORDSRIKKI HODGE-SMITHPHOTOGRAPHYGETTY IMAGES
*NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED
GF feature