Acknowledging that you’ve got a problem
doesn’t automatically translate to a wish
or readiness to change.
“An addict understanding that they
have a problem is perhaps the easiest
part,” says Hughes.
The five-step model of motivation
used by psychologists demonstrates
the discrepancy between awareness
and readiness and explains why you
can know you have a problem but feel
unable to take steps towards behaviour
change. “The most significant part
of resolving a problem is having the
motivation to change – having motivation
to not only relinquish the addiction, but
making changes that will affect their
entire lifestyle and choice of friends,”
says Hughes.
According to psychologist Dr Julie
Myers, keeping track of your sleep
patterns, exercise, dietary intake, and
other activities such as social events or
time for relaxation is a telling, sometimes
enlightening, exercise and challenges key
mechanisms in denial.In an ideal world, motivation comes
from the pleasure of doing the things you
love (‘towards’ motivation) rather than a
wish to escape something aversive (‘away
from’ motivation). If your goals are health
and fitness related, you might know what
it feels like to do a great workout or to be
energetic. “There are only a few people
from my experience that are motivated
by pleasure,” says Melbourne-based
coach Trav Bell. “People like athletes can
see themselves on the dais, the medal
going around their neck and the positive
comments they will get from their peers.”
But most of us are motivated by pain –
often a result of divorce, being alone, not
liking what we see in the mirror, being
unsatisfied at work, financial hardship,
becoming ill, the kids unleashing some
harsh home truths or nothing fitting
anymore. Everyone has a built-in stop
loss, a point, says Bell. “I ask people out
of 10 how badly they want to change. If
it’s between eight and 10 you should get
out of their way because they are on a
mission,” he says.If you’re only mildly motivated, you
can engineer greater impetus using a
five-stage model known in psychology
circles as the transtheoretical model.
The gist is that you start gently and gain
momentum as you move between steps.
To be effective, any goal needs to align
with your self-image and values according
to Luis A. Marrero, author of The Path to
a Meaningful Purpose. He says that to be
motivated, you need to ask yourself four
existential questions: Who am I? What
matters in life? Why am I here? How do
I successfully fulfil my life purpose? Bell
agrees. “Your values are your internal
rulebook. They are the things that really
light you up.”
Effective motivation also includes clear
goals, which is why Bell suggests creating
a bucket list and curating a set of goals.
Visualise the outcomes in detail to seduce
your comfort-oriented brain and minimise
the difficult or daunting aspects. “It’s about
building a class of emotion that you can
really look forward to,” says Bell. Once you
have achieved that, you move on to theTHE SCIENCE
OF DESIRE