Womens_Health_Australia_December_2016

132 womenshealth.com.au DECEMBER 2016

PHOTOGRAPHY: GETTY IMAGES

SELF

LOVE

CUT THE HATE

AND TELL IT

LIKE IT IS

Leslie Knope,

Parks

and Recreation

“I am big enough

to admit

I am often inspired

by myself.”

Peggy Olson,Mad

Men

“I’m the person

you need

to impress

right now.”

Olivia Pope,

Scandal

“I am many things;

stupid is not

one of them.”

Gloria Pritchett,

Modern Family

(on being told

she’s one of

those beautiful

women who

doesn’t know it)

“No,Iknowit.”

Brienne of Tarth,

Game of Thrones

“You’re not

interesting enough

to be offensive.”

speak confidently without being

perceivedasarrogant,”saysMartz.

Studiesshowthatwomenin

leadershiprolesneedtospeak

inamorehumblewaythanmen

soasnottocrossalineandbe

seen as a bitch. Can we ever win?

There is one glimmer of

hope,saysMartz.“Whenwe

showed subjects examples

of women speaking positively

about themselves, there was

adisconnect.Oursubjects

said that they didn’t think

other women would like the

body-confident woman, but

thattheydid.Infact,wewant

to see a role model break free,

we want to see them escape

from this negative self-talk.”

So, take one for the team,

and start to lead the way. The

firststopischangingyour

inner monologue. Those neural

pathways? They’re not set for life;

we’rechangingthemallthetime

–that’sneuroplasticityinaction.

Butitwon’thappenovernight–

a2009studybyUniversityCollege

London showed that it takes 66

daysforanewhealthy

habittotakeroot.“Just

asittakesawhiletolearn

a new language, it takes

timeforthebrainto

rewire,” explains Firestone.

PeggyKlaus,anexecutive

coach and author, advises

starting with what she

callsa‘bragbag’–a

writtenlistofpersonal

achievements. “It helps

overcome the inclination

to focus on the negative.

Add to it several times

aweek,withflattering

comments and obstacles

you’ve overcome. That

waywhenyouneedto

sell yourself, on a date or

inaperformancereview,

your pluses will be at the

forefrontofyourmind.”

In a group situation,

resist the temptation

to fuel the negative talk.

Just kindly dismiss any

self-deprecation (“Oh,

I hadn’t noticed”) and

move on. Remember

that study on the pressure

of group body bashing?

Bynottakingpartinit,

you’re freeing up others

to do the same. And

getintothehabitof

accepting a compliment. It’s far

easier when you think of it like

doingafavourforthecompliment-

giver.“Acomplimentisalovely

gift,” says Burke. “When you

dismissitorscoffatit,you’re

throwing the gift back in the giver’s

face. Accepting it and thanking

them does not mean you agree

that your coat is really flattering.

It’s not self-aggrandising; it’s about

graciously accepting the gift.”

Seetheboxformoreonbeing

proud and loud. Oh and by the way,

you look freakin’ HOT today.WH

STEP OUT

WITH

CONFIDENCE