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shift in her eyes as she caught on that I
was interested beyond the friend zone.
“We went outside and she pulled
me behind the main hall. Her lips were
soft, but her kiss was hard and
passionate. I felt dizzy as she ran her
hands over my body in the darkness.
When she asked me back to her place
I couldn’t resist. I wasn’t nervous,
because I felt like I knew what to expect- the fantasy was turning into reality.
“In the taxi home, she caressed my
thigh, then put her hand up my T-shirt,
as she looked straight into my eyes.
It was thrilling – I was turned on, but
also hyper-aware of her gender.
“Inside on the sofa, Juliet turned
dominant and slightly aggressive. She
stripped me of my clothes, but instead
of the slow, sensual sex of my fantasies,
Juliet’s fingers were like pistons. I was a
bit taken aback by the ferocity. It felt
like a guy racing to intercourse with the
barest hint of foreplay. However, the
harder she did it, the hornier she got.
“I was a bit confused, so taking her
cue I did the same to her. She appeared
to like it and she came. But her wet
vagina didn’t turn me on like mine did
to her. It felt kind of foreign. There was
no going down, no stroking. Afterwards,
we cuddled, but I felt strangely let
down. We didn’t have sex again.
“After that, I had sex with a few
other women and the same thing
happened. I felt like a lousy lesbian,
as I liked kissing and fondling boobs,
but didn’t have the taste for real-life
vaginas. One woman even said, ‘It feels
like I want to fuck you, but you don’t
want to fuck me.’ She was right.
“Thinking back, I was just a
straight girl testing the lesbian waters,
instead of looking to explore a deeper
connection with someone. And while
the sex didn’t blow my mind I’m still
glad I explored my sexuality, as I’m now
secure in my identity. But that isn’t to
say if I met a woman I connected with I
wouldn’t try it again, just to be sure!”“After two years of questioning my
sexual orientation, I fell in love with a
guy who I loved having sex with and
we entered a committed relationship.
But secretly I knew if we were to break
up, I’d have sex with a woman. When
we separated eight years later, I knew I
had to set my mind at ease.
“About a year later, I met Juliet* on
a self-development course. She was
intelligent, funny and self-aware.
During the group sessions she was
very open about her sexuality. She wore
her hair long and her T-shirts skin-
tight. Juliet looked tough, but her
brown eyes had extra long lashes that
gave her a sweet prettiness.
“I deliberately sought her out at the
course afterparty. I knew it would be up
to me to flirt with her, because she
would think I was straight and wouldn’t
make a move. After several drinks my
flirting became bolder. I remember
touching her leg and leaving it there for
an extra moment. I saw something“I lost myself in touching her
body and I understood why men
go crazy for the female form”*NAME HAS BEEN CHANGED. PHOTOGRAPHED BY CARLES RODRIGO MONZO/STOCKSY.COM