marieclaire.com.au 55“I COULDN’T
BELIEVE WHAT
I’D BEEN MISSING
OUT ON”Heather, a 43-year-old from
Brisbane, fell in love with her
colleague Terrie, 39. They’ve
been a couple for six years“I
never hated sex with men,
but I didn’t love it. Straight
sex was always so linear and
the end result was always
penetration and his orgasm. When I
had sex with Terrie, I couldn’t believe
what I’d missed out on all these years.
“I was two years out of a 14-year
marriage. As the only other woman in a
male-dominated company, Terrie and I
were drawn to each other. She was the
first ‘out’ lesbian I’d ever met and was in
a relationship, meaning our friendship
was entirely platonic for the first year.
“Then Terrie went away on holiday
and I found myself really missing her.
When she came back to work, I hugged
her and remember feeling the softness
of her breasts. It was the spark of
something sexual. I started to think
about her when I masturbated.
“Because we worked together I
forced myself to live with my sense of
denial. What would it mean if things
crossed the line? One night we went
out for after-work drinks and ended up
alone at the end of the night. ‘I don’t
want to go home because I’d rather be
with you,’ she said. It filled me with an
unfamiliar desire. I wanted her, but it
was more than sexual. I replied, ‘I feel
the same way.’ This led to us discussing
our feelings for each other. ‘Want to
come back to my place?’ I asked.
“In the taxi, I was nervous. Would I
know what to do? Would I like it? Then
we were on the back deck at my house,
kissing passionately. She was on top of
me, pushing the mound of her vagina
into mine. There was something about
the softness of her. It felt so sensual.
“When we were both naked, I lost
myself in touching her body and I
instantly understood why men go crazy
for the female form. The curves are
beautiful to touch. I didn’t have any
body insecurities, or compare myself to
her. I was in ecstasy as I kissed herbreasts. It was so erotic to know exactly
how it must have been feeling for her- like we were two people, one body.
“Then she went down on me. The
whole time she held my hand and
maintained eye contact. The pressure
was perfect and even. There was no
awkwardness, or lying there hoping
her tongue would eventually find
my clitoris. Then Terri started to
masturbate me with her fingers.
Another woman just knows how to
touch you. I came so hard.
“Being with a woman is
like swimming out into the
softest, warmest ocean,
then riding the waves in
before paddling out again.
We’d make love, come, stop,
kiss and cuddle, talk, and
make love again. It was the
first time I experienced
multiple orgasms.
“I’d always been passive in sex, now
I’m the opposite. I think straight people
get fixated on who is the ‘top’, or who is
submissive because they think of
lesbian sex in the same way they think
about straight sex – straight friends are
obsessed with who wears the strap-on!
Neither of us plays an overly masculine
role in our sex life, or any other part of
our lives. We’re evenly matched.
“I’m in a lesbian relationship, but
I hate labels. I fell in love with Terrie
and I intend to stay with her my whole
life. I don’t regret my relationships
with men, but I can’t imagine going
back to straight sex after experiencing
the joy of being with a woman.”
“SHE FELL IN
LOVE WITH ME”Lily, a 23-year-old from Sydney,
identifies as a lesbian. She finds
she’s a magnet for bi-curious girls“I
always knew I was attracted
to women. When I was 16
my first sexual experience
was with a girl and it felt
so natural. I fell in love with another
girl at 17 and the sex was incredible. All
my straight girlfriends were having
mediocre sex with mediocre boys, not
coming then feeling used, whereas
I was already having multiple orgasms.“There are still plenty of clichés
about what a lesbian is supposed to
look like. I’m on the feminine end of a
very broad spectrum, which means
straight girls regularly come on to me
when they want to test the Sapphic
waters. I’ve popped the cherry of at
least eight bi-curious straight girls,
I’m totally down with it if I’m attracted
to them. (Although there is also a
ridiculous expectation that a lesbian
will automatically sleep with you just
because you ask them.)
“Michaela* was part of
my friendship circle at uni
and had just broken up with
her boyfriend. One night
she made a not-so-subtle
approach by pulling me
into a toilet cubicle and
demanding I kiss her. She
was the high-maintenance,
rich princess type.
“Sexually, I’m aggressive and I like
to be in control. With Michaela, I
wanted her to just lie back as I made
love to her. I loved teasing her. She had
huge nipples that stuck out, I spent so
long licking them. She got so horny and
was begging me to finger her. Instead,
I went down on her. I love making girls
wet, it feels so good. Michaela kept
gasping, ‘Oh my God, no-one has ever
licked me like that before!’
“Then I felt her whole body stiffen.
She convulsed and came so hard! I
tried to kiss her, but she started crying.
I was like, ‘Oh no, she’s got the straight-
girl guilt,’ which has happened before.
Instead, she softly said, ‘I think I just
lost my virginity.’
“‘You’re not a virgin, Michaela!’
I replied. She said, ‘No, that felt like my
proper virginity. I think I’m a lesbian.’
“I laughed and said, ‘Let me check,’
and fingered her to another deep
G-spot orgasm. That’s the best thing
about women, there’s no recovery time.
“After that, she declared she was
gay and told everyone she loved me. I
wasn’t in love with her, but somehow
I felt responsible for her feelings. We
had sex for about three months and
then I broke up with her. Suddenly
I was called a ‘player’ who used her
for sex! It seemed unfair to me because
she was just exploring her sexuality.
Anyway, I hear she’s straight again.”“We’d make
love, come,
stop, kiss
cuddle, talk,
and make
love again”Sex lives