Shape_USA-January-February_2017

Marcel Christ

Sex so good,

you’ll see colors

Th ere’s a blow-your-mind

climax in your future tonight,

and every night, if you use

these pleasure-boosting,

research-backed strategies.

By CARLY GRAF

Distracting thoughts
are the number-one
reason why women
have difficulty reach-
ing orgasm, says
Vanessa Marin, a cer-
tified sex therapist
and the founder of
Finishing School, an
online orgasm course
for women. “We multi-
task so much these
days that we have
a hard time being fully
in the moment, even
during sex,” she says.
And nothing kills an
orgasm faster than
thinking about some
big meeting at work
or an argument you
had with your sister.
It makes sense, then,
that women who are
better able to tune
out distractions tend

to climax more

often and enjoy sex

more than those

who don’t, accord-

ing to research in

the journal Sexual

and Relationship

Therapy. To stay

focused and

present, Marin

recommends con-

centrating on one

specific body part

that’s feeling great,

like your neck or

your breasts as

they’re being kissed.

This will instantly

redirect your mind

back to the action,

making it easier to

intensify your

arousal. Use this

technique every

time you catch your

mind wandering.

No joke: Breathing like

you do when you’re

turned on may help

you climax. That’s

because your inhales

and exhales can influ-

ence your emotions;

it’s why deep, slow

breaths can calm you

down when you’re

tense. Marin recom-

mends experimenting

with different types

of breath. Taking

short, quick breaths

for a few minutes as

you build up to your

orgasm may boost

your heart rate and

heighten your sen-

sations. Or switch to

deeper breaths to

help relax and tune

in to the moment.

If you’re having trou-

ble finishing, cue up

a go-to fantasy or

think about the hot-

test sex you’ve ever

had. Worrying about

whether you’ll finish

depresses desire

and dulls your body’s

response, which

makes it harder to

orgasm, Marin says.

Using your imagina-

tion is proven to make

your skin more sensi-

tive, helping to bring

on the O.

Breathe right.

Fantasize

a little

(or a lot).

Tune in to your body.