Open Letter
WORDS: RICHARD CLUNE. PHOTOGRAPHY: GETTY IMAGES.Dear Open Letter,
We’repenningyouthisOpenLettertosaythanksfor the memories, even though we just
sicked-upinourmouthonquotingFallOutBoy.
Anyway, what we’re saying is things are going down, much like Pete Wentz’ popularity.
Andbythat,wemeanwe’removingonto(back)pagesnew.
Yep,asanyfootballerwho’sjustlostagrandfinalhasso poetically opined: “We’ve had
agoodrun,butallthingsmustcometoanend...eh.”
Wehadsomefun.Rememberthattimewesingledout‘chef’PeteEvansforbeingaright
dickwellbeforethetabloidstookaim?Backinthedayswhenhewasmoreconcerned with
activatingalmondsthantheactualharmingofbabiesandexpectantmothers?
Andwhocanforgetourclassictakedown of charity-minded colleagues (wankers) or the
Ikea horsemeat scandal (giddy-up)?
Weweretheretoinformnewdadsthattheirdebutprogenywasnoexcuseforletting
things slide – muscularly and sartorially – and we eagerly espoused the joys of a sporting
affair on the arrival of each football season.
Butthen2016camealong,anditwasalldeath,despairandDonald.Andquitefrankly,
it’sthatlastsquarepegwho’sbroughtaboutthissplit,becausewedon’twanteverybackpage
fromheretobeaboutignorance,misogynyandimprobableforeignpolicy.Orworse.
So it is that we unlink our hands and march on ahead to a spanking new little number we
can’t wait to take for a twirl next issue.
Out.144 GQ.COM.AU FEBRUARY 2017