Australian_Mens_Fitness_April_2017

●Game Changers

50 MEN’S FITNESS APRIL 2017

Dating

ake-up sex can be the most intense

romantic experience of your life.

Sadly, it takes the apocalypse to get

there. Arguments are emotionally

taxing and potentially catastrophic. If quarrels are

inevitable — and they are — keep your costs low:

Learn to fight your way gently to a toe-curling,

earth-shattering, multiorgasmic cease-fire.

Here’s how to get to yes, yes, oh, yes.

she’ll be reminded you

have them. Women love

men with feelings.

Comfort her

She might cry. She’s

a weeper. Crying isn’t

about manipulating you;

it’s about feeling sad

and being vulnerable.

Recognise her tears as

a call for tenderness,

and answer the phone:

Take a time-out, then

be warm — you’ll be

a decent person

and run up the

relationship points

at the same time.

Don’t fix

the problem

You see a nail. You

have a hammer. Why

not use it? Because

she doesn’t want a

solution; she wants

you to listen to her talk

about the nail. Talk and

sex are connected for

women — you can’t get

to the naked resolution

without the talk.

Let her talk,

listen, listen more,

fast-forward to

the horizontal

reconciliation. It’ll be

infinitely easier to fix

things — to hammer

that nail — after you’ve

both enjoyed a good

scrump in the sack.

Learn to apologise

Saying “I’m sorry”

doesn’t mean “you’re

right and I’m wrong,”

it means you’re sorry.

And you are. You

love her, she’s in pain,

that blows. Never

use the conditional

tense in an apology,

“I’m sorry if you feel

this way,” that’s just

passive-aggressive

jackassery.

Practise

relationship hygiene

If you’re a conflict

avoider establish good

habits. Every day, each

of you swallows the

bitter pill of naming one

little thing that annoys

you, followed by a

chaser of one thing that

makes you feel loved.

This quick routine lets

you share info about

a problem, but not

Of all the ways to entice her into bed — an

erotic whisper, a deep kiss—afairfightis

by far the most underrated.By Sarah Rose

M

Use the Jedi

mind trick

Repeat after her. When

she says, “You were

supposed to do X,” you

have one line: “You think

I was supposed to X.”

This makes her feel

listened to and validated.

The fight is half over

once you repeat her

premise. Obi Wan Kenobi

never said it, but the

Force works on the

strong-minded, too.

Memorise poetry

Good arguments have

rhythm: Acknowledge

her point of view.

Briefly explain yours.

Acknowledge her point

of view again. “Gosh, I

can see how X seems

neglectful, but that

wasn’t my intention,

and I’m sad X came

across that way.”

Repeat it like the

verses of a song.

Be selfish

Don’t point a finger

and make accusations

— it only raises the

temperature, so

she’ll double down on

defence. Neutralise her

opposition by beginning

every single sentence

with the same two

words: “I feel.” Start

with your feelings and

necessarily the emotion

attached to it. It’s like a

vaccine — a daily dose

of a poison that might

otherwise kill you.

Relationship fights aren’t

zero-sum; she doesn’t

have to lose for you to

win. You’re both better

off winning. So tell her

she’s right, and make it

easy for her to say you’re

right. Then make out

while you make up.

How to fight

(your way to sizzling make-up sex)

SAYING

YOU’RE SORRY

DOESN’T MEAN

YOU’RE RIGHT

OR WRONG — IT

MEANS YOU’RE

RECOGNISING

HER PAIN.