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RIDICULOUS TECH
[ RIDDIKULUS! ]The confounding world
of ridiculous tech
WE SCOUR THE DARK AND OFTEN PERVERTED CORNERS OF THE
INTERNET TO BRING YOU THE WEIRDEST TECH AROUND. YOU MAY
WANT TO BRING A SICK BOWL OR A BOX OF TISSUES TO CRY INTO...
[ CARMEL SEALEY ]iPotty
THE 2-IN-1 POTT Y WITH ACTIVIT Y SEAT FOR IPAD.
http://www.ctadigital.com/item.asp?item=3016
When I was a child, my dad would get me to draw
while we were at a restaurant — partly because
he wanted to encourage me to do arty things,
but mostly to shut me up. These days, I see
parents giving iPads to their children at
restaurants, which is fine, so long as they’re
being creative with them. But there are some
places technology just doesn’t seem right to us
— in kids’ hands while they’re on the potty
is one of them. The iPotty is a potty trainingDigitsole: Smartshoe 001
THE WORLD’S FIRST SMART SHOE.
http://www.digitsole.com/smart-shoe
While I love my smartwatch, my smartphone, my IoT-connected speakers at home that let
me play music whenever I want, wherever I want, and my LIFX bulbs that change colour to
that nice greeny-blue colour that makes me happy at certain times of the day, there are some
things that I simply want to remain dumb. My toothbrush, my wardrobe doors and my
shoes, for example. The peeps behind Digitsole disagree. These high-top shoes can
automatically tighten for you (because tying laces is clearly too hard for us mere humans
to master), tracks your daily exercise and calories burned, includes shock absorption and also
warms your tootsies. They are wirelessly charged and Bluetooth connected. We hope,
though, that when the battery runs out you can still run in them like normal and they won’t
just come apart, due to their lack of laces. While looking very futuristic and trendy, we feel
that the sort of people who would be interested in smart shoes probably already have some
kind of exercise tracker and a serious pair of runners that they’ve undoubtedly been lacing up
adequately for years. So what’s left? Oh, yeah. Its warming ability can
seriously just be replaced by a pair of decent socks.PROJECT ARA’S AQUARIUM
THE MODULAR SMARTPHONE WITH UGLY
CREATURES INSIDE.
atap.google.com/araThe modular smartphone isn’t a new idea anymore,
thanks to the likes of the LG G5 (issue 52, page 8)
and the Motorola Moto Z (issue 58, 38 ), but with
Project Ara, Google wanted to do something different,
something special... something that would garner
media and public attention. Simply creating a modular
phone with “six flexible slots for easy swapping”
wasn’t enough. Tardigrades, or our favourite alternate
name for them ‘moss piglets’, are quite the ugly
micro-animal. But they’re also famously tough and are
found pretty much anywhere with water. They should
probably be called ‘hardigrades’, to be honest, because
they can withstand temperatures of - 272 °C all the way
up to 150°C! Anyway, Project Ara was reported to have
created an aquarium mod slot full of these tardigrades,
microorganisms and algae — so not only would you be
able to use your funky phone to make calls, text, surf
the net and take selfies, you could also have pet
tardigrades “for a long, indefinite period of time” in
your pocket. All things considered, we think it’s a better
idea than a Chihuahua in your handbag...STAR LORD HELMET HEADPHONES
ROCK OUT TO AWESOME MIX VOL. 1 IN ST YLE.
(In development)From the same company that brought you Furbies,
Twister and the Nerf Zombie Strike Outbreaker Bow,
now comes the item you’ve all been waiting for — a pair
of Bluetooth headphones that makes you look like Star
Lord from Guardians of the Galaxy. While it’s currently
only at prototype stage, Marvel and Hasbro have
teamed up to create this cool adjustable plastic helmet,
which also lights up and makes sound effects. The
price tag sits at about US$ 100 at present, which
indicates this won’t be the best pair of headphones
in the world, but that’s not going to be the real reason
you’d buy one of these. Think of the fancy dress parties
you can now attend in style, rather than an “I couldn’t
find a costume in time, sorry” excuse!seat with inflight entertainment, as it were. The seat can be easily clipped on and off
(for practise runs and also to convert the potty into an ‘activity seat’) and there’s an internal
potty bowl that is simple to remove for cleaning purposes. Our main gripe with this
invention is actually twofold. Firstly, this is encouraging kids to poop where they play,
or play where they poop — either way, it ain’t pretty. Secondly, it’s teaching them that they
can take their sweet time pooping, and you know they will, because they get to play with
the iPad when they’re on the potty! That is going to cause a lot of angst later in life when
you’re all queuing for the bathroom.