- the sensitive thin skin around
your eyes is the most damning part of your
entire body, the hardest place to hide
your vices. If you drink, smoke, eat salt,
stay out late, or spend too much time
staring at a screen, you’re going to have
eye problems. (And if you somehow
do none of these things, the years will
show anyway.) As GQ’s senior fix-your-
face correspondent and resident Dorian
Gray enthusiast, I’m constantly testing
fountain-of-youth eye products. Many
make big promises but don’t really work.
These do. Consider them your best defense
against the ticking clock.—GARRETT MUNCE
THE PROBLEM: Bags under your
eyes make you look tired and sullen, like
a basset hound or Steve Bannon.
THE SOLUTION:Malin+Goetz
Revitalizing Eye Cream, $92 for 0.5 oz.,
malinandgoetz.com- Cream can often feel heavy and oily,
but this one’s somehow light and
luxurious—like Cool Whip for your face.
Though for long-term improvement
you should use it on the daily, I looked
less hangdog after trying it exactly once.
THE PROBLEM: You’ve got circles so dark,
you’re back in your goth phase.
THE SOLUTION:Tom Ford Anti-Fatigue
Eye Treatment, $75 for 0.5 oz., tomford.com- Like most eye problems, dark circles are
essentially a sleep issue. As in, you’re not
getting enough. But they have to be treated
di≠erently from pu∞ness or sagging.
Ford’s gel smooths and tightens the skin
under your eyes, making them appear
more alert. It’s basically a nap in a tube.
THE PROBLEM: Crow’s-feet have
infiltrated the corners of your eyes.
THE SOLUTION:Task Essential Eye Rescue
Serum, $54 for 0.7 oz., taskessential.com- Serums are highly concentrated, like
liquor, whereas cheaper eye creams are
more akin to watery beer. Apply serum
before bed. When you wake up, your skin
will be more elastic and less prune-y.
THE PROBLEM: You’ve gazed into your
computer screen all day like a drone, and
now your eyes are fatigued.
THE SOLUTION:Kiehl’s Facial Fuel Eye
De-Puffer, $20 for 0.17 oz., kiehls.com- It contains hibiscus extract (which cools
your face) and ca≠eine (which stimulates
your eyes the way co≠ee stimulates your
brain). It goes on like ChapStick; apply it
in the back of a cab and no one will know
you’ve worked a 90-hour week.
THE PROBLEM: You treat every night
out like it’s a bachelor party, and your
hangover’s written all over your face.
THE SOLUTION:Recipe for Men Under
Eye Patches, $36 for three pairs,
recipeformenusa.com- Okay, the best solution is not to drink.
But barring that, you can slap on these
collagen-infused Band-Aids for your
under-eyes. Leave on for 20 minutes in the
morning while you eat breakfast and/or
yell at NPR. When you remove the patches,
they take your pu∞ness with them.
We Need
to Talk
About Your
Eye Bags
If your eyes are the windows to
your soul, the areas around your
eyes are the windows to your age
and sleep habits. (And hangover
level.) Fortunately, we’ve got
the antidote for every conceivable
droop, wrinkle, and puffy spotMarketed to women but just as good
for men, La Mer is the most iconic (and I think
most effective) eye cream ever made. The
company’s founder was an aerospace scientist
trying to treat his own chemical burns, and the
idea with this eye cream is to soften and repair
rough, discolored skin. You need only a dab
to see results, so—as long as no one finds your
stash—the tiny tub will last longer than you’d
think. Which is good, because it’s crazy expensive.The Eye Concentrate| $200 | 0.5 oz. | cremedelamer.comBuy This and Hide It from
Yo u r G i r l f r i e n d48 GQ.COM MAY 2017
ERNEST GOHGrooming