S
oaNew
York ba r
created
agourmet
pizzatoppedwith
Cheetos; it’s a fancy
blendofcavatappi
pasta, Béchamel
sauce,a‘signature
cheese blend’, and
the number-one
reason your video-
game controllers no
longerwork.Itlooks,
well, delicious – let’s
notbeelitistsabout
it. But it’s hardly the
only curious kitchen
mash-up we’ve seen.
Andithastobesaid,
a lot of the results
make that Cheetos
pizzalooklike
an organic-kale
quesadilla by
comparison. See
if you can tell the
real food-l avoured
objects here from the
very, very fake.Back Page QUIZ
FAKE OR
HORRIBLY
REAL?
Half the foods on this list are
terrifyingly real. Take our quiz to
fi nd out which ones are fake and
which you can actually eat
Beef Guac-hos
Nachos are designed to be shared, which is good,
as this party platter, topped with three avocados and
countless scoops of ground beef, can comfortably nourish
the entire Springbok forward pack.The Skittles
and Twix
Bar Shake
ADunkinDonuts
concoction that
takesyourkid’s
two favourite
convenience-store
treats and
submerges them in
21gramsofsaturated
fat. It’s the shake you
caneatwithafork!Quesadilla Burger
A US restaurant chain took
a cheeseburger and wrapped
a quesadilla around it. Or took a
quesadilla, pried it open with tongs
andshovedabaconcheeseburgerin
there. It’s unclear.Bacon Maple
Sundae
h is insane
frozen combination
of bacon, vanilla ice
cream and rich maple
topping has, at press
time, killed 137 people
in the US. Ha! Just
kidding, Denny’s
regulars and lawyers!
Most of them are still in
the hospital having their
intestines removed.The Tobacco
Flatbread Pizza
Available only at an artisanal-
wood-i red-pizza house in Texas, the
Tobacco Flatbread mixes roasted red
peppers, sun-dried tomatoes, fresh
basil and a light sprinkling of tobacco,
giving it a raw yet earthy l avour.C
C
Sh
A
of
cr
ca
a
camel milk, which is known
to pack a wide variety of natural
antioxidants found only in humps.Bacon Dog
It’s a hot dog, sliced in two
and snuggled up with some
bacon. Have you ever stared at
something so wonderful that you
literally began smacking yourself on
the forehead for not thinking of it i rst?me ham
shoe
y we made
one up,
eriously,
long canANSWER: NUMBERS 2, 4, 5, 6, AND 7 ARE, SADLY, REAL.WEIRD FAKE FOOD MASH-UP
OR ACTUAL MENU ITEM?15932Double
Down
sandwich
Bread is stupid. I know
it, and you know it and
Colonel Sanders knows
it.Now’shetakenthe
boring old sandwich,
removed its idiotic
bread and installed
two fat chickenlanks
instead. Comes combo
with fries and a soft
drink, in case you’re
worried about making
it through the rest of
the afternoon on just
42 000 calories.Hot ’n Juicy 350g Triple
A popular US fast food chain took
its usual burger. h en they installed
another burger atop it. h en they went
out back and noticed a delivery truck
containing 5 000 extra patties, and
thought, ‘Well, we either have to use these
or they’ll go to waste and all those dogs
will have died in vain.’ Hence, the nearly
2kg of burger meat in a 35cm-tall sandwich
that you have to eat with a ladder.647112 GQ.CO.ZA MAY 2017
WORDS BY JEFF VRABEL, ILLUSTRATIONS BY LEANNE BOTHA