76 GQ.CO.ZA MAY 2017
2.Amanshouldalways
have access to the best
plumber,accountantand
personaltrainerthathecan
possibly aford.
3.Don’texpectthestateto
doathingforyou.Askwhat
youcandoforyourself,
notwhatyourcountry
candoforyou.
- Seek wealth but despise
riches.Alackofmoneyis
therootofallevil.Nothing
is more time-consuming
than poverty. Money does
notbuyyouhappiness–it
buys you time. - You can skip anal sex and
bondage, but you should try
athreesomeatleastonce.
Expectalargepartofittobe
someonestaringoutofthe
window.Probablyyou.
6.Drugsshouldbe
behindyoubythe
time you are 25,
unless your day jobisplayingguitarfor
the Rolling Stones
(lead or rhy thm,
not bass).- Never hit anyone if
you can avoid it. There
arereallyonlytwogood
reason to hit someone
–youarefightingfor
your life or if your
family has been insulted. - Never hit a woman,
a child, and animal or
a man who is incapable
of breaking your jaw. - If you hit someone, then try
to keep it neat – don’t throw
wild, swinging punches. Your
punches should be straight as
a piece if scaf olding, and they
should snap back as quickly
as they snap forward (as if
you are catching a l y). h e
exception is hooks, which
should be powered by your
hips, not your arms.
A good hook to the
body will break your
assailant’s ribs – and
his will. - G O OD M A N N E R S
ARE IMPORTANT.
h ere is never an excuse for
rudeness. h e quality of
a life is largely about small
human transactions, and
politeness makes human
existence bearable. - You will sometimes
fail. There will never
be a point in your life
when you are too
successful, too old or
too wise to fail. Expect
failure and let it put
steel into your soul.
Be made strong by
your failure and be
made grateful by your
success. Like night and
day, both will surely
come to every life. - Look after your knees.
If you play sport, then they
will wear out quite soon. If
you don’t play sport, then
they will wear out quite
suddenly – almost certainly
on your child’s i rst sports
day, during the parents’ race.
Notallrulesaremade
to be broken.
GQ’sGuidetoLifeis
geared towards making
yoursasfulfilling
as possible
Words by Tony Parsons and Anish TrivediMoney spent on
dental work and
travel is never
wasted. Plan to die with
good teeth and great
memories.
TO LIVE BY
MANIFESTO