aboutthatdaythough,whenIwasgettinginthesuit,thepantsI
waswearing,Icouldn’tbuttonthose,costheywereoldpantsthat
IthoughtIstillfitinto,butIhadgrownalittlebitmore.I’mnot
fat, so anyone that’s reading this, I’m not fucking fat! Fuck you!
The last time I questioned my career choice
Recently. I smoked this weed
andIsmokedtoomuchofit.I
gotreally,reallycold,andIgot
inmybedandwent,ohfuck,
this is gonna be bad. I just start-
edhatingeverythingthatI’ve
evermadeinmusic.AndIstart-
edgoingcrazy,overanalysing
everything:“WhydoIDJ?It’s
so stupid, fuck everything.” And
luckily I finally passed out, and
inthemorningIwaslike,ohmy
god, that was awful.
The last time I exercised
Today. It was brutal. I’m just
trying to get in better shape
than I’ve been in my entire
life. Cos I’ve never been in re-
ally good shape. And I really
wantthekidsthatareonInsta-
gram that are like, “Yo, it looks
like someone skipped leg day”,
I can’t wait to post a picture
andbelike,“What’sup,bitch?
Didn’t skip leg day! Where you
at? Where thefuckare you at
now?”[Laughs]It’sweirdthat
aguywouldcareaboutmylegs
looking good.
The last time I was in a fight
IthinkIpunchedakidinthe
back one time cos he made fun
of me for getting beat by a girl in
handball, but that was about it.
Then I ran straight to the bath-
room and hid.
The last thing I ate and regretted
IwasinMexicoandIate
grasshoppers.Theywereput-
ting them in tacos and said it
was really good. And I ate ant
larvae. And I’ll be honest, the
antlarvaewasfuckingamaz-
ing,itwasreallygood.SoIwaslike,maybethiscricketissea-
sonedwellorsomething,butittastedlikeIhadpickedupapileof
dirt and was like, I know there’s a grasshopper in here somewhere,
and started eating dirt and a grasshopper together. It was awful.
The last time I blacked out
EightweeksagoinVegas,Idrankuntil6or7inthemorning.I
blackedoutinthemiddleofthatnightandIcametowhileIwas
walking out of this bar. The sunlight hit my face and I realised
that I was a disgusting human that needed to go to sleep.ROD YATESThe last time I asked for someone’s autograph
Jennifer Love Hewitt at [fast food restaurant] Benihanas, I was
11yearsold.Andshegaveittome,andgavemehernumbertoo,
cosItoldherIwasinlovewithher.Butitwasprobablyfake.Ifshe’s
readingthis:JenniferLoveHewitt,Iloveyou,callme.
The last time I was stopped by the
cops
Iwascomingbackfromplay-
inginSanDiego,andtherewas
arobberyatsomeplaceinSan
Diego,andtheyweredrivingthe
samecarthatwehad,exceptthat
wehadplatesandtheydidn’t.But
thecopsdidn’tcare.Theystopped
ourcar.TheyhadM16swithfuck-
ing laser pointers pointed at us
and were like, “Everyone put your
handsonthedashboardorthe
back of the seat!” And each of us
hadtoslowlygetoutofthecarand
then they sent a dog into the car.
The dog checked, and then they
hadtopullusoffintoagasstation,
and they questioned all of us. And
then when they realised they had
thewrongpeople,theydidn’tsay
sorry, they’re just like, “OK, you
cangonow.”
The last time I blew a wad of cash
My new MacBook. It’s the new
onewiththetouchthing,butIgot
the2terabyteversion,soIpaid
around six grand for it. But it’s a
taxwrite-offforme,sosuckit!
[Laughs]
The last time I threw a tantrum
Mymumcalledme,andshe
knewIwasalreadyreallystressed
out,andshestartedaskingmetoo
many questions about stupid shit
that was happening around in my
house and I was like, “You know
how fucking stressed I am, what
thefuck!”AndIstartedgettingso
mad, I threw my phone at my front
door,andtherewasadentinmy
wall cos I threw my phone so hard.
I had to walk around my house a
coupleoftimesbeforeIwaslike,allright,I’llcallherbackand
apologise.SoIcalledbackandapologisedandsaid[mockangri-
ly], “And also you owe me a new fucking phone,bitch!” [Laughs]
The last time I wore a suit
WhenIdidmyphotoshootwithG-Eazy[fornewsingle“Say
Less”].Thatwastwoweeksago.Ilovesuits.Thethingthatsucked
“ThecopshadM16swithfuckinglaser
pointerspointedatusandwerelike,
‘Putyourhandsonthedashboard!’”THE
LAST
PAG E
Dillon Francis’ new single, “Say Less”, is out now. He’s currently
in Australia playing Groovin the Moo and headline shows.
90 | Rolling Stone | RollingStoneAus.com Ju ne, 2017
Dillon Francis
The mega DJ on eating grasshoppers, passing out in
Vegas, and weed-induced panic attacks