ENEMYWOMENATWORK
DEAR E JEAN, I’m having
trouble with my co-worker
“Jane”, a condescending
know-it-all who treats me
like an intern while at
the same time acting all
buddy-buddy with me.
I don’t trust her. It all
started years ago, when
I unintentionally insulted
ǯ ę
director at another company
and I was hired to replace
her, and I redid all her work
(it was honestly not usable).
I believe Jane heard about
it. Over the next couple of
years, our paths crossed
many times at conferences,
but she always pretended
that she didn’t know who
I was and that we had never met.
Now we actually work together, and E Jean, I can’t
stand this woman! She’s a phoney. She texts me
privately over our company message server to ask how
my day is going. She shares information about me with
our former co-workers (“I told Mary that your husband
passed away, and she is so sorry to hear it”). We’re not
friends – she has no business telling people these
private things! She’s constantly telling me how
wonderful it is that we “get to work together at last”,
and continually dropping compliments. I’ve never
encouraged her to be chummy, but I’ve always treated
her with respect. Recently I stopped responding to her
Ȯ ǯ Ȃ ě
¢ Ĵ ǯ
of her – she’s good friends with the owner of our
company – but how do I get her to leave me alone?- Nowhere To Run
RUN, MY ROCKDon’t lunch with her. Don’t lend her
money. Don’t braid her hair at a slumber party. Do
watch your back (and your front). While I suppose it’s
possible that her former co-workers didn’t tell her that
you changed her work, and possible that she never
recognises people at conferences, and possible that
she’s crushin’ on you like Emma Woodhouse on
Harriet Smith, I think she’s actually scared of you. She
sees you as a threat. (And women like you, who are
quick to recognise threats and dispatch them, rise in
business, sports and politics. Lord knows I wish
Hillary Clinton had recognised Donald Trump’s threat
sooner!) As to what lengths she will go, it’s impossible
to guess. I’ll just say that
her pestering you with
compliments is perhaps the
least of it. The major concern
is her gossip. And here
I pause with the greatest
sympathy to say how sorry
I am that you lost your
husband. This woman using
his death to slather you with
her bullshit warmth and
false compassion is vile. So
Ȃ ęǰ ¢ ȱ
is your sword.
Be polite, be professional,
but kill her soppy texts by
replying with emoji (no
words), frown at her
compliments, never give
her critical work information
she doesn’t need, never
gossip with her (or about
her) and never,neverrely on her. Life is rife with
enemies. At least you know yours. Keep an eye on her.HERVERYOWNBOYS’CLUB
DEAR E JEAN,Should I ditch my boyfriend because he
won’t get down on one knee, put a ring on it and take
me to Paris? For three years, I’ve dated this handsome,
kind, feminist man, who’s secure enough to cook me
dinner and play house-husband while I work at
my demanding job as a chemist at a nuclear plant.
Our home life is perfect, but I like to travel and want
someone to strip me naked in an open-air hotel room
in Greece or Barbados, and he’s not the adventurous
type. Also, he can’t commit to me or marriage.
How long do I wait for him to come around? Do
Ĵ ȱěȱ
my feet – and lose my steadfast domestic partner?
I’m normally a logical lady scientist, but this one
has me stumped.- Confused Chemistrix
CHEMISTRIX, MY CUMQUATTut-tut. Mr Handsome Dinner
has been cooking for you over your own Bunsen
burner for three years and you’re asking Auntie E
“How long do I wait for him?”. And you’re a scientist!
You know your Darwin. You understand that of all the
mating questions posed by all the females of all
the species in the world, “How long do I wait?” is the
feeblest. (And the one least likely to lead to success.)
Yet a fantastic future awaits you. Because when
a man tells you he “can’t commit”, a spanking new
world of possibilities opens.
Tormented?Driven witless?
Fearnot,helpisjustashortletterawayask
e jean
ASK
AQUESTIO
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