SEND YOUR DATING OR RELATIONSHIP DILEMMA TO [email protected]. 89
Q/ When my BF
and I started dating
a year ago, he
opened the door for
me, cleaned before
I came over, wined
and dined me. Now,
he doesn’t. Was it
all just for show?A Yep. I have known
plenty of slobs who
clean up their acts
(and their living
rooms) for the first
date, then relax as
soon as they think
they can get away
with it. But let’s be
real: Everyone puts
in extra effort dur-
ing those early days.
That doesn’t mean
he’s a bad guy. Still,
you shouldn’t settle
for less than you
deserve, so just tell
him you miss his
old tricks.Q/ I’VE BEEN
C A S U A L LY S E E -
ING THIS DUDE
FOR A FEW
MONTHS, AND
HIS BIRTHDAY IS
COMING UP. I’M
NOT SURE WHAT
TO GET HIM THAT
WILL HIT THE
R I G H T C H I L L
TONE AND WON’T
MAKE HIM THINK
I WANT TO BE
MORE SERIOUS?A If you’re just
seeing him for the
good times, then
give him that: a
really good time.
Surprise him with
something you two
can do together, like
tickets to a concert
you’ll both love,
seats at the next
local sports game,
a hot night in a
hotel, or a couple’s
massage. If you
must get him a
physical gift, stick
to the classics.
He can’t hate on
another bottle of his
favorite booze or
your new lingerie—
neither option will
feel like overkill.Q/ I can tell my
boyfriend of six
months isn’t the guy
for me, but I feel I
have to wait to end
things until after he
takes the LSAT next
month. Am I right?A Please, do it the
moment you’re no
longer feeling him.
A six-month rela-
tionship is most
likely not going to
screw up his test
performance. In
fact, he’ll have more
time to study. It’s not
fun to prolong the
inevitable, and no
guy wants to find
out his GF has been
dating him out of
pity because she
fears how badly he’ll
take the split. Pull
the plug!up”—not “Our sex
life sucks and I’m
bored.” More com-
fortable showing
him? Be bold as you
lead the way and
break out tricks or
toys. Respect his
boundaries by slow-
ing down if he is
uncomfortable. And
keep in mind: His
being turned off
simply means he’s
rejecting the idea,
not you.Q/ My boyfriend is
pretty religious...
and conservative
in bed. I want to get
more adventurous.
How can I tell
whether he’ll be
into it?A The only way to
really tell is to try it.
Tell him what you
want, or show him.
If you use words, be
positive and specific,
as in, “It would turn
me on to tie youLOVE
Hill is a contributing
writer for
Cosmopolitan and
Cosmopolitan
.com.and those options
are probably not
going to judge you
for taking your
time. And if some
douchebag does?
Well, you don’t
want to date
douchebags, do
you? Keep on
keeping on, and
tell your friends
that you’re very
confident there will
be a great long-term
guy supply.GET SERIOUS?
NOT YET.FROM TOP: I
AN MADDOX/THELICENSINGPROJECT.COM; GETTY IMAGES.