YOU NEED TO
LOVE YOURSELF
AND KNOW
YOU’RE
WORTHY.
YOU ARE MANY
THINGS, AND
WHAT YOU DO AS
A JOB IS JUST ONE
OF THOSE THINGS.
- Your Career
Whether you’re worry-
ing about job security,
your salary, or whether or
not you’re in the right job
altogether, the best thing
you can do is remind
yourself that you are not
your work. “We all want
to achieve the best that
we can, but sometimes
we can raise the bar too
high,” says Dr. Stephen
Carbone, former GP and
now policy and evalua-
tion research leader with
the non-profit Australian
mental health organiza-
tion beyondblue. “I’m not
saying people shouldn’t
try to do their best, but
if you put all of your eggs
in that basket and your
identity depends on you
being this wonderfully
successful person and
you’re not going to value
yourself unless you’re
CEO, there’s a risk you’re
going to fail because
there’s only one.” Dr. Car-
bone says to always give it
a go, give it your best, and
if you succeed, pat your-
self on the back. But if you
don’t, you tried, and fail-
ure is not a reflection on
someone’s ability or per-
sonality, it’s just the way
the world works.
To keep your worries at
bay, do something little
every day for your career,
even if it’s as simple as
just updating your CV or
attending a seminar. “You
are many things, and what
you do as a job is just one of
those things.”- Terrorism
“When something is
talked about a lot, it makes
us think it is a common
phenomenon, and one of the
features of worry is that
we start to overestimate
the possibility of some-
thing happening,” says
Dr. Carbone. “Terrorism
is a very important issue,
yes, but you also need to
put things in context.” Dr.
Carbone says it’s impor-
tant to look at what’s in
our control, and terrorism
definitely isn’t. “It comes
down to what you can do
in your day-to-day life to
keep yourself as safe as you
possibly can, rather than
worrying about things that
are out of your control, and
remembering the likeli-
hood is still very, very low.” - Your moneY
“If you start to be aware
of your finances, then you
can change it,” says author
of Getting Out of Debt Joy-
fully, Simone Milasas.
“Don’t be afraid of money.
Don’t be afraid of looking
at your bills and of looking at
what’s coming in and going
out; you have to look at it
and be aware of it.”
Milasas suggests starting
a “10 percent account.” “You
put in 10 percent of every
single cent you earn. Put
it in an account, a shoebox
under your bed, or any place
you feel it will be safe. You
start to have financial free-
dom; and you start to have
a sense of peace because
you actually have money.”
Most of all, Milasas advises,
“Money follows joy; joy does
not follow money. People
always think they’ll be
happy if they had X amount,
but if you’re doing what you
love, money will show up.”- Your BodY image
If you feel like IRL isn’t
measuring up to the fil-
tered fantasy on your phone,
you are far from alone.
Researchers at the Univer-
sity of Pittsburgh found the
more time young adults
spend on social media, the
more likely they are to be
depressed and have low
self-esteem. “We should
never envy what we see on
social media because most
of it is false,” insists sexolo-
gist and relationship expert
Dr. Nikki Goldstein. “Stop
looking through Insta and
Facebook. Put the phone
away and enjoy what you
have in your life right now.
Look around and ask your-
self, What do I have to be
thankful for? Enjoy the sim-
ple things and stop beating
yourself up.”- Your
relaTionships
Dr. Goldstein says whether
you’re in a relationship or
single, fear of rejection can
hang over our heads, like a
miserable cloud of doom,
so it’s time we back our-
selves more, ladies. “We all
have these insecurities, but
how strongly they impact
our lives will depend on
how strong our sense of self
is,” says Dr. Goldstein. “If
you have good self-esteem,
when those ideas get into
your head, you’ll be able to
talk through them. You’ll
ask yourself, Do I have any-
thing to worry about, really?
Am I secure in my relation-
ship? and you’ll work it out.
If you’re really having a
moment of self-doubt then
these thoughts will get into
your head and they’ll feel
very real. You need to learn
how to love yourself and
know that you’re worthy of
a loving relationship.” - Your soCial life
We know social media has a
way of making us feel inad-
equate, so we need to take
72 Cosmopolitan • MAY 2017 WWW.COSMO.PH