Cosmopolitan Australia – June 2017

Q. (^) MY BOYFRIEND AND I MET IN UNI, AND
WE’VE TALKED ABOUT MARRIAGE A TON.
WHEN WE BOUGHT OUR HOUSE TOGETHER
A WHILE BACK, HE PROMISED ME THAT THE
RING WAS COMING ‘SOON’. THAT WAS NINE
MONTHS AGO. WE’RE STILL NOT ENGAGED.
AM I BEING LED ON?
A. For all I know, your boyfriend is planning
a surprise proposal, saving up for a giant
rock, or simply choking under the pressure.
I’d tell him the plain truth: you don’t want
to wait any longer. If he doesn’t pop the
question very soon (since you already made
the huge commitment of buying a house
together, I bet he’s just overthinking it at
this point) get down on one knee yourself.
JENNIFER ROBBINS/THELICENSINGPROJECT.COM; GETTY IMAGES; MARLEY KATE
He’s not
looking for
love? Next!
Is he dangling
the goods? Tell
him to hook
you already!
Hill is a
contributing
writer for
Cosmopolitan.
Q. (^) MY BOYFRIEND
REFUSES TO GO
OUT IN PUBLIC
WITH ME. I’M HIS
FIRST OFFICIAL
GIRLFRIEND AND
I KNOW HE’S STILL
GETTING USED TO
THE IDEA OF US
TOGETHER, BUT
I JUST WANT TO
BE ABLE TO SHOW
HIM OFF. IS HE
ASHAMED OF ME?
A. You may not
want to hear this,
but his behaviour
is seriously shady.
There is a distinct
possibility that he’s
icing you out ’cos
he has another –
public – girlfriend.
Just ask him point-
blank. If he doesn’t,
then his behaviour
may have more to
do with his (pretty
extreme-sounding)
anxieties about
relationships and
his insecurities
than his intentions
towards you. Tell
him his actions are
making you think
he’s ashamed of
you. Ask him what’s
going on; make it
clear that you won’t
be judging him.
When he opens up,
listen carefully to
his explanations. If
you’re going to have
a real relationship,
he has to get over
this and venture
out of the house
with you – stat.
Q. I’m not a gold
digger – but I want
to know my fiancé’s
credit score and
financial standing.
Is there a good way
to ask him?
A. In addition to
legally binding your
hearts, you’re also
combining finances,
so you need to have
a comprehensive talk
about money. Once
you sit down, don’t
just stop at ‘I’ll show
you my checkbook if
you show me yours.’
Talk about balances
and debts, your top
savings priorities, and
who’ll pay what bills.
If he gets defensive,
try a financial adviser.
A neutral third party
can help.
Q. I asked this guy
out on a brewery-tour
date, and he brought
his friends along with
him. Does that mean
he’s not into me?
A. No. If he’s as clue-
less as most of my
beer-drinking bros,
he may have just been
distracted by the mere
thought of all that
beer! Next time, ask
him to a more classic
date for two (a movie,
live music gig, dinner
at your place), and
make it so obvious
(think, a text saying
‘Can’t wait for our
dinner tonight!’) that
he can’t mistake your
message. Third and
fourth wheels avoided.
Q. I’ve been dating
my guy for a year
and I can see a future
with him, but I hate
the way he dresses.
I know it sounds
shallow, but he
doesn’t take pride in
what he wears, and
it’s a total turn-off.
How do I bring it up?
A. Any man is likely
to take criticism of
his personal style
very, well, personally.
Try to forget what’s
on-trend and think
of how you’d feel if
he were criticising
your taste. Then
instead of insulting
his oversize tees,
nudge him towards
f lattering clothes
with compliments.
When he’s wearing
his one pair of jeans
that fit, marvel at his
arse. At the shops,
ask him to try on a
nice shirt, then tell
him it looks so good
that you want to rip
it off him. If you swap
insults for praise, he’ll
respond better. #
COSMOPOLITAN June 2017 147
love & lust