If you’re like the rest of us
(i.e., human), this scenario
might sound a teeny bit too
familiar: you’re sitting at
your desk when an email
pops up about Perfect Girl’s
amazing promotion. There
she is, with her shampoo-
commercial hair, in her city
apartment with her Ryan
Gosling-look-alike boyfriend- or whatever the irritating
details of her annoyingly ideal
life happen to be. You should
feel happy for her, right? But
the truth is, you can’t help
seething. Definitely not the
healthiest reaction, but hey,
we’ve all been there. Your
salvation: there are productive
ways to deal when the green-
JEALOUS? USE IT
You may never be psyched about your friend’s massive
pay rise, but envy can still be a powerful motivatoreyed monster rears its head.
‘Feeling jealous can provide
valuable information about
yourself,’ explains Zelana
Montminy, author of 21 Days
to Resilience. It might even
give you a clear sense of what
you want in life. So next time
P-Girl nails a presentation at
work, consult these pointers.LOOK INSIDE...
Because what you’re feeling
is not about her. It’s about
you. ‘These sorts of negative
emotions are often triggered
by someone having something
we value but don’t have our-
selves,’ explains relationship
expert Judith Wright. So use
those icky feelings as a wake-up call to clue you in to what’s
missing in your world. Dig
deep and determine what she
has that you want. Whatever
it is, take the first little steps
towards feeling better by
writing down a bullet list of
what you covet.MAKE GOALS...
Because once you’ve zeroed
in on your desires, you have to
make them a reality. ‘Instead
of allowing other people’s
success to drag us down, it’s
smarter to use it as inspiration,’
suggests Wright. ‘Ask your-
self, what could I do to be in her
position?’ If it’s the confidence
to talk up in meetings, you can
sign yourself up to a course.
Do you want to be a better
team manager? See if your
company offers leadership
courses. Take practical stepsto achieve the desires you
have instead of simply feeling
jealous over other people’s
achievements.STAY ON TRACK...
Because we all get a little
discouraged when it comes
to making changes. But it’s
important to keep focused.
‘Remember that satisfying a
yearning doesn’t require big
leaps or drastic changes,’
says Wright. ‘Sometimes it’s
far more helpful to do small
things regularly and keep
progressing.’ And in the
meantime, if you see you-
know-who showcasing her
baller life, take a breath and
remind yourself that soon
you’re gonna have the life
you want too.84 COSMOPOLITAN.com.au TO SUBSCRIBE CALL 136 116