after leaving the armed forces. In this period,
the average veteran is 13 per cent more likely
than his civilian counterpart to end his life.
Shockingly, the veteran aged 18-24 is twice
as likely. Another spike occurs among ex
servicemen in their forties.
The conclusion is counterintuitive but
inescapable: actually living the horrors
and deprivations of combat is somehow
life-sustaining, at least in the short term.
In contrast, being back in safe, predictable
regular life can propel men into a downward
spiral that too often leads to a violent, widow-
making denouement.
What’s going on?
WE WERE SOLDIERS
Having cooled down from his workout, Roma-
raised Goodman, 30, ushers me upstairs to
the Mates4Mates rec room, where he recounts
his descent from self-assured army gunner to
drug-addled civilian – and the climb back.
On finishing school, Goodman followed
his mum’s advice and joined the army –
on Anzac Day, 2005. After basic training
at Kapooka in NSW and gun school at
Puckapunyal in Victoria, he began a seven-
year posting in Darwin that included two
tours in Afghanistan.
I ask Goodman whether, on reflection,
those seven years were good years. His
response illuminates one critical aspect of
how serving can set up a man for despair
once he mothballs his uniform.
“They were the best years,” says a smiling
Goodman, suddenly wistful. “Thebestyears.
There are a lot of shit times in the army, to
be honest. Heading out field, you’re eating
rat packs, it’s pissing down rain. Whenever
you’re out field it sucks, to be honest. But
you’re with the best blokes. You get to know
each other so quick. You’re pretty much living
in each other’s pockets. The shitter the time
the better it was, because you could always
get a laugh out of it. No matter what went on,
looking back now it’s all a positive to me.”
During his second tour in Afghanistan in
2010-11 there were two “incidents” that, in
hindsight, were “pretty severe”, Goodman
says. He will say nothing about the second
one. In the first he drove a Bushmaster over
an IED, knocking himself out and fracturing
his neck.
These events might have planted the seed
for the No.1 psychological enemy for men
(and women) in uniform: post-traumatic
stress disorder (PTSD). Though he felt fine
after coming home and starting a year’s leave,
within a few months his world began to spin
out of control. To this day, he says, he can’t
explain why exactly.
“That’s the thing about mental illness- you don’t know what’s going on in your
head.” But this much he knows: cashed
up from his deployments, he was partying
like a rock star, minus the joie de vivre. “I
became so angry – at anything. My temper
was ridiculous and I think that’s why I started
drinking: to chill myself out,” he says. Sick
and sorry on the mornings after, he used ice
and speed to get himself going.
You could say he tried to kill himself. Or
you could say he didn’t. It’s a moot point, he
suggests. Over a period of two-to-three years
he certainly overdosed more than once and
was in and out of hospital. “I just didn’t care
if I died,” Goodman says. “I didn’t give a shit
about anything. Or anyone.”
CASUALTIES OF PEACE
The scourge of veteran suicide is neither
new nor confined to Australia. Research into
suicide in the years following World War I, for
example, found returned servicemen from
several Allied countries killed themselves at
between two-to-four times the rate of men
who hadn’t served. No one back then was
diagnosed with PTSD, but everyone with a
dad, uncle, granddad, nephew or mate who’d
made it back from the front lines knew about
battle fatigue or shellshock.
Today, earlier diagnosis of PTSD would
doubtless reduce veteran suicides. But PTSD
is not the sole cause of those. Not even close.Do you have PTSD?
About12percentofAustralianswill
experience PTSD in their lifetime, according
to Beyond Blue. And you don’t need to have
come under enemy fire to develop it.
A car accident or bushfire – or any event
that causes you to experience intense fear,
helplessness or horror – could cause the
disorder. Self-screen by taking this quiz.Q1Have you experienced or seen
something that involved death, injury,
torture or abuse and felt terrified or
helpless?
YES?Q2Have you subsequently experienced
anyofthefollowing:
upsetting memories, flashbacks or
dreamsof the event?
physical or psychological distress when
something reminds you of the event
YES?Q3Have you also experienced:
trouble remembering important parts
of the event
persistent blaming of yourself or others
for what happened
persistent negativity, anger, guilt or shame
loss of interest in things you used to enjoy
trouble feeling love or excitement
hyper-vigilanceIf you answered yes twice or more to Q3,
consult your doctor or mental health
professional. If you’re diagnosed with PTSD,
treatment involves psychotherapy and
sometimes medication.MAY 2017^115Goodman, left, on
deployment in
Helmand Province,
Afghanistan, with
members of Brumby
Troop, in 2010.