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OurGarage
Driveway miscue sends Bulmer into early re-tyrement
IT WAS a dark and stormy night... No,
seriously – a band of wild weather had
thundered in over Port Phillip Bay and rolled
on across the city and suburbs, filling gutters
with flooding rain, felling trees and generally
announcing that Melbourne’s notoriously
fickle winter had arrived.
I was late for dinner at the in-laws and
might, perhaps, have slightly rushed my
well-practiced reversing routine down our
long, dog-legged driveway.
Fringed by overhanging trees and shrubs
that a keener gardener would have pruned,
and lined with abrasive volcanic rocks, a
swift, smooth reverse down the drive is a
badge of honour that I wear with pride.
Usually.
What I hadn’t allowed for was the extra
degree of difficulty, due to the night being as
black as tar and the total lack of illumination
in the driveway itself.
So, I’m whizzing backwards on a wing and
a prayer, trying to patch together a picture of
what lay behind, through a combination of
memory, murky reversing camera and rain-
splattered wing mirrors when, WHUMP!
The rear end of the Q7 kicked skywards
and I instantly cursed myself for notproceeding a tad more slowly.
Within moments the Q7’s
dash was illuminated with
warning alerts indicating a
dramatic loss of that which
tyres are meant to be full of.
Donning the Drizabone,
I popped the boot, not really
expecting to find a full-size spare
in there, but wondering: is there,
perhaps, a space saver?
Instead, Audi offers Q7 owners an
inflation kit neatly stowed in the space
beneath the cargo floor where a spare
would otherwise reside. I whipped it out
and proceeded to read the fine print, before
taking a closer look at the tyre. That volcanic
rock is hardy stuff regurgitated from the
earth’s churning gizzards a gazillion years
ago, so a 285/45R20 Goodyear Eagle F1 is
really no match. A hole in the sidewall big
enough to poke my thumb through instantly
told me the natty inflation kit was all-but
useless, so I cancelled dinner and called
AudiCare 24-hour Roadside Assistance.
After taking a few details, the pleasant
woman on the end of the line advised that
she’d send a flatbed as soon as possible.A flatbed! I’ve blown a tyre, not a bloody
head gasket! But the truck duly arrived
the next morning, the Q7 was retrieved,
the tyre replaced and the car returned, all
within the day.
Aside from the cost of a replacement tyre,
it’s all covered under Audi’s standard three-
year warranty with roadside assistance,
which proved an efficient and relatively
seamless service.
The whole thing seemed like a lot of
unnecessary drama, however, and gave me
pause to reconsider a planned trip to show
the kids a cattleman’s hut atop a high-
country peak. I can’t see Audi getting a
flatbed up there if I have another puncture,
so guess I’ll just stay home and prune
shrubs instead.
GED BULMERDeflationary pressure
010249 WEEK 20
URBAN COUNTRY SPORTS FAMILY MOTORWAY
Not-so-tough mudder
Our Q7 sports chunky 285/45R20 Goodyear Eagle F1 rear rubber,
additionally specified on the sidewall as ‘SUV-4x4’. Presumably,
that means they’re tougher and more capable of handling mud,
dirt and rock than your average road tyre, but they’re still nomatch for volcanic rock, or clumsy driving. The cost of the
Goodyear was $525 fitted, so it was an expensive evening ... and
I didn’t even get dinner. With the Audi back in fine fettle I’ve vowed
that a back-up plan will accompany all future selections of ‘R’.AUDI Q7
Date acquired: January 2017
Price as tested: $125,545
This month: 5234km @ 10.8L/100km
Overall: 8831km @ 10.6L/100kmAUDI Q7
HOLE
LOTTA
TROUBLE
With no spare, it pays
to do this sidewall-mod
stuff at home, rather
than out the back
o’ Burke