78 PREVENTIONAUS.COM.AU
I
n 2011, I had everything I used to think
I wanted: I was living in a beautiful home,
had a thriving business as an events planner,
and was married to Todd, a great man and
father of our three daughters, then 7, 5,
and 12 months. But inside, I was in agony.
When Todd and I met, I was 24 and wanted to
settle down and have children. He did too. We hit
it of, and in 2003, we got married. We enjoyed
a wonderful friendship and a close emotional
connection, but we didn’t share much in the way
of passion. I’d had strong romantic bonds with
other boyfriends before Todd, too, but never the
right intimate connection.
Eight years into our marriage, with three
children, I felt myself becoming increasingly
attracted to women. I thought I might be gay
but wasn’t sure. Growing up, I didn’t know any
lesbians. I was raised by a semi-conservative,
single, working mother. My father was very
religious. At university, I’d met some gay men but
no gay women. Throughout my life, I’d had close
friendships with women. I began to realise I’d
had an attraction to some of them, but I hadn’t
understood that at the time. We live in a culture
in which women are afectionate and constantly
tell other women how pretty they are, so I
thought everyone felt the way I did. Heather Vickery made the
hardest decision of her life
when she told her family
she was gay. This married
mother of four didn’t expect
what came nextFinding herself
...at last