Reader's Digest

(avery) #1
July• 2018 | 65

thefriendreplied.“I’vebeaten him
three games out of ive.”
Source: unijokes.com

THESINGLELIFE
I’vebeensingleforsuchalong
time now that when somebody
asks“Whoareyouwith?”Ijust
automatically reply “Vodafone.”
COMEDIAN MIRANDA HART

MOPPING UP
Igotintoaightonetimewitha
reallybigguyandhesaid“I’mgoing
to mop the loor with your face.”
Isaid“You’llbesorry.”
Hesaid“Ohyeah?Why?”
Isaid“Wellyouwon’tbeableto
get into the corners very well.”
Seen online

MUSICTOYOUREARS
LastnightIwenttoakaraokebarthat
didn’t play any 1970s music. At irst
I was afraid.OhIwaspetriied.
COMEDIAN STEWART FRANCIS

“Wrong court M’lud.”
CARTOON: STEVE JONES


Q:Why did
the cat fall
into the well?

A:It couldn’t
see that well.
Source: reddit.com

ALESSONLEARNT!
Abankrobberpullsoutagun
pointsitatthebanktellerandsays
“Givemeallthemoneyoryou’re
geography!”
he puzzled teller replies
“Don’t you mean history?”
he robber says
“Don’t change the subject!”
Seen at facebook.com

BAD FOR BUSINESS
If she sells seashells by the seashore
thenIthinksheneeds a better
business model.
COMEDIAN HARRISON SLATER

GONE MISSING!
here was a story in the newspapers
recently about a family who left
their three year old in a corn maze
overnightbyaccident.
LikeallparentswheneverI
hearthesekindsofthingsitalways
give me... ideas. Seen online

Well Worth Seeing

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