T
rust me on this,
because I’ve done the
experiment: kids will eat
food-grade insects if given
the chance. My kids and
their friends think the idea
of a packet of BBQ-fl avour
crickets is absolutely
hilarious, and a lollipop with a scorpion in the
middle the height of cultural rebellion.
Ironically, these two examples are among
the worst ways to actually eat insects. The
crickets are dry and scratchy and have a weird
“dead insect” aftertaste that reminds me of
the smell of a Commodore’s front grille after
a day on the road. And the scorpion-pop
is just a regular, tooth-shattering
slab of boiled sugar with a
terrible, crumbly, stale-tasting
not-beef jerky centre.
Both products exist as
stunt-snacks of course,
their purpose is to shock, not
actually taste good. They play
an important role in letting people
know that in the future, much of our food
protein will necessarily have to come from a
source other than cows, sheep, pigs, chickens...
and all those novelty animals that seem to exist
solely so butchers can charge thrice the price
for a third the meat (looking at you, rabbit).
That’s right: we will almost defi nitely have to
turn to insects to feed a global population of
nine billion. All our mass-produced meat is bad,
but cattle are the worst. A chicken needs about
34 litres of water per gram of protein produced,
while a cow needs 112 litres. Cows also need
four times as much feed per kilo. Bugs, it
seems, need a fi fth the water, a tenth the feed,
and a mere sliver of the land, by comparison.
Meat is an awkward thing, because if you’re a
pre-technological culture living on the primordial
Earth, killing a bison is an enormously more
effi cient way to get calorie-dense, nutrient-rich
food than nibbling on 700 kilograms of yams.But in a high-population, high-tech society
where you personally don’t need to factor
in energy expended catching your T-bone,
meat is economically disastrous. In net terms,
that is, because it simply costs too much, in
resources, to make a kilogram of meat. And it
takes up too much land.
Today, in a world that has the technology to
stock a supermarket with seventeen diff erent
types of mushroom, and every cultivar of every
food crop ever developed, you can absolutely
be a vegetarian and not die of malnutrition.
But humans have evolved to best thrive (as
opposed to merely eke out an existence) on a
diet that contains protein-dense food like meat.
Could we convert our entire civilisation to
vegetarianism? Maybe not: There are
still questions around whether kids
can develop properly on plants
alone, even if you’re force-feeding
them beans at every meal.
So, we “need” animal-based
food. And to make it even harder,
the problems with traditional meat
go beyond resource consumption to
ethical questions about relative self-awareness,
especially of pigs (and have you seen those
YouTube videos of cows playing fetch?).
Insects avoid many of these problems. The
debate over a cricket’s right to not be ground
up and made into pasta will no doubt continue,
but at least in the meantime it doesn’t take
a hectare of land and enough water to keep
hundreds of humans alive to grow that cricket.
Also, unlike cows, crickets like living in small,
dark, humid boxes with lots of other crickets.
Anyway, the point is that when insect-based
food fi nally gets some momentum, making
your kids to eat the bugs may not be much of a
challenge. Kids, it seems, love to eat bugs.
After all, nothing generates playground cred
quicker than a shiny packet of mealworms.Anthony Fordham
[email protected]THINGS WE LEARNED IN THIS ISSUE
+ Humans have a bunch of SECRET SENSES that we
actually use - and rely on - every day.
+ For those who can’t stomach bugs, pink and juicy
PLANT-BASED MEAT will be an alternative.
+ We must prepare for an ASTEROID IMPACT
because one will happen, someday.
+ It’s not just a painkiller: CANNABIS can also
relieve the symptoms of dementia.
+ The next generation of GIANT CONTAINER SHIPS
won’t fi t our ports, so we need to build new ones!Issue #52 (13th July 2017)
EDITORIAL
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Your Kids Will Probably Eat Bugs
EDITORIALscienceillustrated.com.au | 3