202 AWW.COM.AU AUGUST 2017
[ Family matters ]
ILLUSTRATION BY MAUDE GUESNE AT ILLUSTRATIONROOM.COM.AU. PAT MCDERMOTT: PHOTOGRAPHY BY PAUL SUESSE.To connect with Pat on Facebook,
visit http://www.facebook.com/
PatMcDermottau.Read between the lines
As Pat McDermott’s giggling granddaughters practise their number skills by
counting her wrinkles, she takes a kombi van down memory lane.
“
I remember
Woodstock
and dancing
in the
lounge room
to Twist And
Shout and
Love Me Do.
”
I
t’s bedtime and our granddaughters,
aged six and three, are here for a
sleepover. There’s some jostling for
places. “I’m all smushed up!” the little
one squeaks. They bounce about, feet
flying. “There’s plenty of room in the bed
for all of us,” I say. “Just keep your hands
and feet to yourselves!”
“That’s what Nanny always tells me,” says
the MOTH (Man of the House). He’s just
passing through. In keeping with McDermott
tradition, he tries hard to be somewhere else
when meals, baths and bedtime loom.
“If I sit in the middle and you sit on either
side, you’ll both be able to see,” I explain.
“Pop bought a lovely new book especially
for tonight. It’s called The Lines On Nana’s
Face. Wasn’t that nice of him?”
“Nanny, you have lines on your face,”
the little one says, giggling. “Here’s one and
here’s one, and here’s two close together!”
she shouts, delightedly. “Nanny, you have
even more lines than you did last week!”
“That’s because Nanny’s a year older this
week,” says the six year old, knowledgeably.
Which is true. August is my birthday month
and this year it’s a biggie. “Nanny is almost
ancient!” They both look at me with awe.
I feel like Tutankhamun.
We read how Nana doesn’t mind the lines
on her face because they remind her of special
times, some happy and some sad. The three
of us are so warm and comfortable, I might
just close my eyes for a moment.
“Nanny?”
“Nanny!”
“WAKE UP, NANNY!”
I keep my eyes closed the way I used to
do with my own kids. I remember curling
up on the ends of their beds to make sure
they stayed there long enough to fall asleep.
Then, overtired, I’d fall asleep myself.
I woke up stiff and chilly one night and
came out to find Patrick, Courtenay
and Ruff Red on the sofa in the
family room. They were watching a
horror movie and eating Milo from
the tin with soup spoons. On the
upside, they were sharing nicely.“Nanny’s asleep because she’s old,” I hear
the six year old whisper. “Let’s watch TV
with Pop.” “And eat chocolate biscuits?”
They’re off. I keep my eyes closed. Before
long, I hear the MOTH agree, reluctantly, to
ditch House Of Cards in favour of watching
Finding Nemo.
It seems you know how old you are by
the things you can remember. These kids will
remember Nemo. I remember Robin Hood.
They’ll remember Donald Trump, iPads, Uber
and hundreds of weird singers and movie
stars. I remember Woodstock and dancing
in the lounge room to Twist And Shout and
Love Me Do while, outside, the Cold War
between the USSR and America grumbled
along. Then came London, kombi vans and
bedsits. Before I knew it, I was a young wife
and mother. Now, suddenly, I’m an old wife
and mother. Would I do it all again? Sure.
Would I do some things differently? Absolutely!
Do I have any useful advice? I thought
you’d never ask!- Don’t buy school photographs. Which one
is your kid? Row 17, 159th from the
left or row 34, 22nd from the right? When
you do spot them, he’s making a weird face
and she’s having a bad hair day. I have 20
still in bubble wrap in storage, waiting for
the right moment. - If you carry an iPad full of family photos,
don’t be surprised if friends develop Glazed
Eye Syndrome. It comes on suddenly and
causes people to run away, so you’re
stuck paying for the coffees.
3. Let grandchildren stay up past
their bedtime eating chocolate and
watching TV. You’re not responsible
for what happens the next day. If your
conscience bothers you, try thinking
of it as payback. - “In every good marriage, it
helps sometimes to be a little deaf,”
advises US Supreme Court Justice
Ruth Bader Ginsburg. AWW