W
hen it comes
to love, I’m
one of those
people they
call ‘cynical’.
You know the
type: always
approaching
the schtick with a side eye, or an
amused smirk if I’m feeling festive.
Recently, though, something
changed and it’s time we spoke
about it. Hi, I’m Mel, and I’m
addicted to watching people fall
in love on TV.
It’s become a problem as the
universe becomes my enabler.
From the latest The Bachelor to the
upcoming The Bachelorette (’cos
#equality), and Married at First
Sight – which isn’t even on screens
right now, but we still lap up the
gossip of couples post-show – and
Seven Year Switch. Love Island is
the latest franchise to shake its
love moneymaker.
These shows not only smash
the ratings – Married at First Sight
claimed the top spot last season- they also make up a growing
chunk of fodder for the media. If
we’re not hearing about the show
itself, we’re hearing about the lives
of its stars. We’re reading, liking
and watching in rose-tinted droves,
so thus, the hamster wheel keeps
spinning on its well-greased axis.
According to psychologist Dr
Becky Spelman, it comes down to
the basic fact we have a vested
interest in dating and relationships - especially those of others. Nosy
Nellies, we are. So imagine our
delight when true romantic drama
is served up on a nightly basis for
an hour. It’s voyeurism at its best.
‘As humans, many of us are on
the quest for “true love” and when
we haven’t found that in our own
lives, we find it by switching on
the TV,’ explains Dr Spelman.
‘Whether people are single or the
“grass is greener”, watching these
shows fuels the fantasy of what
they could have without wanting
to consider the bigger picture.’
Because of the fantasy of it
all, we’ll justify our viewing as a
guilty pleasure. As Dr Spelman
explains, we feel guilty watching
something that doesn’t require
much brainpower. But (here’s the
upside) because they trigger our
emotions and sense of escapism,
they provide great pleasure.
Plus, for all those high-brow
culture vultures who scoff at such
entertainment, I’m here to reveal
that those who enjoy a little reality
TV are intelligent. And I’ve got
the receipts. A recent study by
researchers at the Max Planck
Institute for Empirical Aesthetics
broke down the audience of shows
like Love Island perfectly.
‘We are dealing here with
an audience with above-average
education, which one could
describe as “cultural omnivores”,’
says Keyvan Sarkhosh, who co-
wrote the study. ‘Such viewers
are interested in a broad spectrum
of art and media across the
traditional boundaries of high
and popular culture.’
Et voila! Dr Spelman adds
that shows like these ‘attract
people who place a high value
on relationships and love’.
Let’s not debate about the
intelligence of it all; watching
these reality shows serves as an
escape from, er, reality. But also,
society’s fairytale-esque view of
love takes it to the next level, as
watching ordinary people get it
on makes us feel like it could one
day happen to us.
‘These shows trigger that
interest and feed in to the fantasy
that everyone can find true love
and that love is an exciting and
amazing journey,’ Dr Spelmancontinues. ‘Even when people know
that true love isn’t as perfect or
exciting as [what they see], it can
be a nice place for people to escape
to on a regular basis.’
We’re intelligent for watching
shows like these, they makes us
feel happy, and they’re definitely
entertaining. So is there even a
problem with my new addiction?
Well, yes. They play into the idea
that what we see on screen some-
how resembles The Real Deal.
And life, unlike The Bachelor, is
not all roses.
‘It might feed in to people’s
false ideas about love,’ says Dr
Spelman. ‘It’s not good for people
to think that love should be this
wonderful, dramatic rollercoaster.
People will often spend a lifetime
believing this to be true and try
to recreate this scenario in their
own life, time and again, only to
cause themselves emotional pain.’
Still, The Beatles were onto
something when they proclaimed
All you need is love. There’s a good
reason that particular quote is on
every second Instagram post and
86 per cent of the slogan tees at
Splendour in the Grass – it does
seem to be what propels us through
life. Package it up and serve it as
entertainment, and we’re going to
want a seat at the table.
‘Many people can relate to the
emotions of the people they are
watching, fantasise about being in
their position, admire and envy
their beauty and also love to hate
and criticise them,’ Dr Spelman
says of the rollercoaster ride these
shows provide. ‘There is nothing
wrong with this, as long as you
can also be realistic about what’s
healthy in terms of relationships.’
On that note, kindly pass the
remote; Love Island’s on. #L i fe,
unlike Th e
Bachelor,
is not all
roses...
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