13ME’
home safely. Then, three months after
Declan vanished, all hope was shattered
when police who had been searching
a mangrove swamp 300 metres from
the family home discovered his
remains. Evidence at the scene
indicated it was suicide.
“I couldn’t understand
why,” Ruth says. “And
I couldn’t understand
how I, a social worker,
had missed the signs.
I felt guilty that I’d not
savedmyson.”
There was a private
family funeral and
a public memorial
service. Peter was
stoic throughout, and
afterwards Grace made the decision
to go travelling.
“Knowing teen suicide can lead to
copycat attempts, I made sure Declan’s
friends were all OK,” Ruth says. “I was
running on adrenalin. I didn’t want to
stop or the grief would overwhelm me.”
From various conversations, Ruth
discovered that Declan had talked tohis friends about depression and suicide.
“None of them took him seriously
because he was always such fun.”
Desperate to help prevent another
family experiencing her pain, she
helped promote an awareness-raising
walk for World Suicide Prevention Day.
A year after Declan’s
death she joined the
Dr Edward Koch
Foundation to launch
the Declan Crouch Fund
and raise funds for youth
suicide prevention.
Her activity included
the production of wallet
cards warning of the
symptoms of youth
suicide. They included
dramatic personality changes, recklessness,
excessive crying, sleeping problems,
shutting out friends and self-isolation- all typical teen behaviours. But, as
the cards made clear, the key was to
communicate, to ask teenagers how
they were feeling. Ruth also made
a DVD for parents calledKeeping Them
Safe, and became a go-to spokeswoman
for adolescent mental health issues.
Leveraging her profile, she started
a petition and lobbied her MPs to
establish the first dedicated youth
mental health facility in Far North
Queensland. In December 2014,
it seemed her efforts had paid off
with the announcement of a Youth
Prevention and Recovery Centre and
dedicated youth mental health beds
at Cairns Hospital. Sadly, the centre
has been delayed by bureaucracy.
“The delay is costing lives,” Ruth says,
adding that she’ll only finally be able to
rest when the centre is up and running.
“I’ll feel I’ve done my job then; I’d
have done it for Declan,” she says.
Ruth believes her son suffered
depression, but why he ended his
life is a mystery.
“What I do know, though,” she says,
“is that if love could’ve saved Declan,
he would’ve lived forever.”•FINDING HOPE
After Declan
(right) took his
own life, Ruth
dedicated herself
to helping other
families like hers
(below) from
losing a childTEXT: JOHN PARRISH PICTURES: NEWSPIX, COURTESY OF RUTH CROUCHIf this article raises issues
of suicide and depression,
visitbeyondblue.org.au
or callLifeline on 131 114;
donateatgivenow.com.au/
declancrouchfund‘I couldn’t
understand
why and how
I... missed the
signs. I felt
guilty that
I’d not saved
my son’