91COLUMN
Ask me
anything
Q
My son married nine years ago
and had a beautiful son who’s now
seven. I lived nearby and cared for him
many times when he was little and we
formed a close bond. But my daughter-
in-law had an affair and then later left
my son, taking my grandson. He now
only sees his dad every two weeks,
which means I see him even less. Our
close bond has been diluted and I feel
like our family’s been sidelined. My
heart is just in pieces over this.
“Heartbroken”, Salisbury, SA
I’m sure you ache for your grandson
butfor your own wellbeing please try to
develop a strategy for dealing with this
loss, because sadness can be destructive
for you. I don’t know the details of your
relationship with your former daughter-
in-law but you may want to try to reach
out to her. Every young mum needs
help and even though the particular
circumstances may be difficult, she may
be prepared to give you time in return
for help. Try to repair that relationship
with her, but it’s best not to discuss
your son or old wounds. Offering to be
there if she needs time out may work
for both of you. There are no legal rights
to fall back on but I wish you the best.Q
I’ve got arthritis and my doctor
has suggested I start exercising,
but I must confess I’ve never been one
for keeping fit and active. I’ve been
blessed with a fast metabolism and I’ve
always watched what I eat instead and
that’s how I’ve maintained my weight.
Now it seems I need to get moving to
help relieve the symptoms of painful
swelling in my joints. But I’m 69 anda bit embarrassed to suddenly turn
up at a yoga class or bowling club. Am
I too old to start exercise at my age?
“Couch potato”, Ipswich, Qld
If you don’t move it, you lose it!
You’renevertoo old to start exercising
and walking is by far the easiest and
cheapest way to start. Walk as far
as you can and do a bit more every
day, be positive and enjoy the scenery
and the world around you. Who
knows? You may love getting out
and about. I know you’ll feel better.
Swimming is also great exercise but
is not a weight-bearing activity like
walking is. Finding friends to walk
with can give you the encouragement
you need – if the painful swelling in
your joints isn’t enough incentive to
get yourself moving!Q
My son’s marrying a British girl
and the wedding is taking place
in the UK in a couple of months’ time.
Our family’s all flying over for it and
it’s going to be a traditional English
wedding at a beautiful-looking old
church. I’m very excited for it but
I have to confess I have no idea what
to wear. My future daughter-in-law
tells me her own mother will be
wearing a hat. I haven’t worn one
since school and feel I’ll look silly,
but I don’t want to let my son down
by being the parochial Australian
wearing the wrong thing. How do
I ensure I don’t look out of place and
out of date, but at the same time not
make myself feel like mutton dressed
as lamb? Help!
“Nuptial nerves”, Sunshine Coast, QldCongratulations, and I’m sure you’ll
enjoy this wonderful occasion, so please
do not get anxious about it. I assume
if a hat’s being worn it’s an afternoon
wedding. We have so many wonderful
designers and milliners and I’m sure
those boutiques on the Sunshine Coast
are up to the mark. Shop assistants can
be very helpful, so visit several and find
someone you think you trust. I love
Carla Zampatti. She dresses real
women and her designs are world class.
If you think youshouldwear a hat, get
advice and make it a small headpiece
if you haven’t been used to wearing
a hat. But, most importantly, don’t
make yourself insecure. Australia’s
no longer the country cousin. You’ll
be a proud mother of the groom.Got a burning question or just seeking a second
opinion? Our favourite straight-shooting star
KERRI-ANNE KENNERLEYoffers up her advicePICTURE: KRISTINA SOLJO/BAUERSYNDICATION.COM.AU
Got a question for Kerri-Anne?
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