Yours Australia — Issue 97 2017

PICTURE: NICK CUBBIN/BAUERSYNDICATION.COM.AU

WENDY HARMERon being dressed to depress at school

Uniformly ugly...

COLUMN

H

ow good is it to see more

and more Aussie schoolgirls

winning the right to wear

shorts and long pants as part

of their uniforms?

Across this wide, brown land there

can’t be a woman of a certain age

who doesn’t have a tale to tell of being

hounded over ghastly school uniforms

• whether by a gimlet-eyed headmistress
  or a fleet of disapproving nuns.
  How well I recall the hideous winter
  grey, box-pleated tunic (over white shirt
  and striped tie); the dowdy summer
  gingham cotton dress; and the horrid
  short sports tunic accessorised with
  a gold-tasselled girdle and yellow
  bloomers. Yes, bloomers!
  Add the obligatory hat – broad brim,
  beret or boater – the winter gloves and
  itchy woollen blazer, and right there’s
  the recipe for daily misery. At my
  bus stop, kids from the local schools
  wore either bilge grey, cack olive, blergh
  brown, “Stand and Salute” navy or
  traditional British Racing Green.
  We looked as if we were about
  to embark for the Crimean War.
  And, of course, that’s where
  Australia’s tradition of school
  uniforms came from – the
  military colours of jolly
  old England. Eton collars,
  sailor suits and boater hats
  were introduced in the
  19th Century for Aussie
  schoolkids, although
  they mostly went
  barefoot back then.
  You’ll recall that
  the young gals in
  Picnic at Hanging
  Rock were cursed
  with wearing
  boaters at
  Appleyard College
  in 1900. Hard to
  believe that at one
  high school I attended

(I went to three), I owned one, too,

although mine was mostly used

as a frisbee in the late ’60s. Every

single straw hat was battered beyond

recognition, plonked on the head like

a pale cowpat and required elastic.

It was not, as they say, a “good look”.

At another high school the weekly

“uniform inspection” was conducted by

the imperious Miss Mustey (naturally

we nicknamed her “Mildew”). She’d

walk along the line of us girls and

measure our hems with a ruler – to

the raucous amusement of the boys

hanging out the windows to watch

our ritual humiliation.

If our dresses were too far above

the knee (how we longed for a Mary

Quant mini), Miss Mustey either

confiscated the belts we used to hoik

them into “bum freezers” or made

us unpick the hems with scissors.

Perversely, when maxi skirts were all

the rage and we took down our hems,

we were ordered to take them up again!

Every effort to look just a little bit

fashionable was cruelly thwarted.

And don’t even start me on the

impossibility of maintaining a uniform

with box pleats! My daughter,

who’s just finished high school,

had a winter uniform with

pleats and sewed them

together with pink embroidery

cotton. Rebel, like her mum.

Memories of those

wretched uniforms

are why I cheer

the girls who can

choose what they

want to wear; play

sport and do

gymnastics

without flashing

their bloomers.

Bloomers! Eep!

Follow Wendy Harmer

on Twitter @wendy_

harmer

Next issue i

on sale Thursd

October 26

Food

Strawberries

are so good

right now and

a punnet won’t

cost the Earth,

so it’s an ideal

time to whip up

sweet treats –

like this moreish

tart – for your

hungry hordes.

Beauty

You’ll come up

smelling of roses

every single t

with our guide

to the lushest

and loveliest

floral-scented

cosmetic goo

to hit the she

Gardening

Getting the best out of plants and flowers

in our warm, dry climate is a challenge,

but Charlie Albone has the answers.

dayy

sess

ime

e

t

d

dies

ves.

Careers

Whether it’s a side

hustle, a second

career or ways to

make a pastime

pay, retirees are

going back to work!