Paperwork hell
Insurance? Claim forms? Dear
God, is it possible that they’re
worse than the accident
itself? I’d say yes. Worse still,
the poor innocent people
involved in the accident with
you may be stitched up by the
implausible slowness of the
process, causing some of them
to threaten to come around to
your house and beat you up.
One car accident, per life; that
will do me, thanks.The bad moments, the disasters, they all play
out in slow motion, like a car crash.
Forme,afterdelightfuldecadeswithout
collidingwithanothervehicle,myfirstserious
stuff-up felt like it went on for hours. And as if
everyoneI’deverlectured,withalinelike“there
are no accidents, only stupid mistakes by idiots”,
was watching at the time.
Think about every near-miss you’ve ever had,
how you congratulate yourself afterwards for
being smarter than the average bear, and then
imagine one of those going horribly avocado-
shaped. It’s not pretty, particularly if there’s a
hulkingsemi-trailerinvolved.Andnoquestionat
all over whether you’re at fault.
I’d had just such a near-miss the day before in
my bulky but beloved Citroen Picasso. Someone
had pulled illegally across me at an intersection
and I’d lauded myself long and loud to my long-
sufferingwifethatnight;howmyalerteyesand
bravura had saved the day.
But the next day it all went wrong. A stupid
switch into an inside lane; an uphill attempt
to overtake; an horrific realisation that the
lane in front had run out; an even more painful
awarenessthattherewasagianttruckinthe
next lane.
There was a moment of panic when my
primitive brain had to decide between braking
and losing my nose, or accelerating and copping
it in the rear. Then the god-awful graunching
ofimpact,theshameoftakingfaultwiththe
truckdriver,andthesheershockofbeing
approached by a third motorist whose car I had
no recollection of clipping. That was particularly
horrific; realising things were so out of control I
hadn’t noticed them.
How the Citroen kept me from being crushed
and crippled I still can’t understand, nor how it
wasactuallydrivableafterbeingmountedfrom
THE BEST MOMENTS IN YOUR LIFE TEND TO REPLAY IN YOUR MEMORY AT FULL
SPEED: THAT SPORTING TRIUMPH; THE WONDROUS MOMENT OF ATTRACTION
AND REACTION WITH YOUR SOULMATE; THAT TIME YOU SAID JUST THE RIGHT
THING AT THE RIGHT MOMENT.
Stephen
LINGERING ROAD TRAUMA
What surprised me most of all was how
long, and how badly, I was rattled afterwards
behind by a B-double. But I sure am thankful.
What surprised me most of all, though, is how
long, and how badly, I was rattled afterwards.
I had not realised how defining being a good
driver was for me. And therefore how humbling
and hurtful it was to accept, and publicly
recognise, that I’d stuffed up, like all those
thousands of idiots I’d looked so steeply down
my nose at before. I was ashamed, even more so
than if I’d been caught alone watching something
disgraceful and debasing, like Gogglebox.
Worse still, it affected my driving. For weeks,
possibly months. I was cautious. I was slow.
Goddamn it, I was scared. And I hated it. I’ve had
motorcycle accidents and they physically hurt,
but this pain was all in my brain. This was worse.Because the fact remains, there are no road
accidents, only stuff-ups. It’s shocking to realise
that, with all the driver training, practice and
preaching in the world, we all make mistakes.MEA
CULPA34 WheelsMag.com.au