Autocar UK – 24 April 2019

TH E H I G H PR I E ST O F BA N G E R N O M I CS

James Ruppert

ero-technology cars.

Following the news

that in 2022 all cars will

effectively be robots

and not be controlled by us humans,

suddenly there might be a lot of call

for t ho s e. We l l , ju s t f r om me a nd y ou

then. I was on a radio programme

s ay i n g t h at t h i s i s a v e r y ba d t h i n g.

I n s t e a d of me b or i n g y ou a ga i n w it h

driver aid-free cars, let’s buy Bangers

with silly performance potential

before they get banned.

It i s h a rd t o av oid t ho s e g r e at bi g

Mercedes, although best steer clear of

those sub-£2000 CLs which all seem

t o h av e s ome s or t of i s s ue i f t he s e l le r s

are entirely honest. Ideally look to

spend £5000 or more. Safer ground

is an E55, which seemed to have been

u s e d a s a f a s t f a m i l y s a lo on at s ome

point. Paying £2999 for anything

f r om t he y e a r 2 0 0 0 s ou nd s pr ic e y,

but it’s not all that much for a 5.4-litre

motor which seems to check out

as a sound buy with a decent MOT

history. The great thing is that these

lo ok l i k e bi g, b or i n g c a r s , but t he y a r e

not. Actually, they look really dated

now and for £3500 I could buy a 2005

CLS500. It has 158,000 miles, but

again, it checks out and looks funky

as a big, giant fastback.

Yes, I have tumbled down a big

saloon-shaped black hole. A low-

tech one, especially compared

to a Mercedes, would be a 1983

Rolls-Royce Silver Spirit. It will be

historic in a few years’ time and at

t he mome nt it s e e m s a s t hou g h it w i l l

survive until 2023. Just under £5000

buys a model which has been racking

up bi l l s a nd w i l l c ont i nue t o do s o.

Also you wouldn’t want to go quick in

that, especially around corners.

Perhaps the most amusingly

inappropriate classified ad diversion

was finding so many V12s, especially

with Jaguar badges. Okay, so there

are no £1500 MOT’d examples in the

project area, but a fully functioning,

buffed and ready XJS 5.3 is only

£6995, and for that you can get a

r e l at i v e l y l at e 1992 on a K. I a l s o s aw

a 1988 Guy Salmon Jubilee, a dealer

limited-edition that is probably

pr e t t y r a r e now. Mor e c h a r a c t e r t h a n

an Aston DB7 and better built and

better value. Indeed, below £10,000

I found cabriolets and the early HEs,

which appear to be decent buys.

I certainly didn’t expect to end

up on t he c l a s sic Ja g u a r lot , but

this is the upside of looking for

u s e d c a r s , e v e n w it h a n a ge nd a.

Certainly if you’re after a car with an

inappropriately large engine to fight

back against the dreary dead hand of

of f ic i a ldom , do it i n one of t ho s e. Plu s

I would drive it within the legal limits

like a little old man. Because I am.

Uncomplicated cars are set to become valuable currency

I’LL TECH THE LOW ROAD

You can find a Silver

Spirit for £5k but it

won’t be cheap to run

A 2005 Mercedes

CLS i s b i g , fa st a n d

relatively tech-free

`

A fully functioning

Jaguar XJS 5.3 is

only £6995

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VW SANTANA GX5

The Santana of 1981 to 1988 was

a handsome old thing but never

really caught on. The GX5 used

a 2.0-litre, five-cylinder engine

from the Audi Coupé. This seller

wants £725 for his 1982 Y-reg

example with just 54,000 miles

and a year’s MOT. Beats another

chap who wants £12,345 for his

tatty, 110,000-mile, barn-find

GX5 from 1983.

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