hut by Loch Lochy and my alarm
when the woman, (who was a dead
ringer for Kathy Bates in ‘Misery’)
vanished into the back for the
longest time. I swear that I could
hear her beating the poor fish
to death.
This time, things will be very
different. I’ve booked a night in
Keswick and a couple of nights to
recover from the journey, by the
banks of ‘sunny’ Loch Lomond.
From there onwards, it appears that
campsites don’t really want to take
advance bookings. So we’ve a big
handful of printouts from the inter-
web, all just 30 or 50 odd miles
apart and a Calmac ‘Hopscotch’
ticket. We’ll be googling petrol
stations and supermarkets and
jaunting about the wee islands
with gay abandon. We’re much
better prepared this time, I’ve
already picked up a bit of the
lingo. I watched every episode of
Douglas Henshall on that Shetland
programme and have even bought
myself an everyday donkey jacket...WORDS AND PHOTOGRAPHS DAVE RICHARDS.By the time you read this, I’ll be away over the border and heading north
into the great unknown.
The Barefoot Chef
B
ut in early April I’m sat
here, planning a long
and arduous trip into a
distant foreign country.
Somewhere that they batter and fry
Mars bars and speak with a curious
brogue. We last visited Scotland
sometime in the last century and
couldn’t believe how big it was and
how little there was there. Our
original trip was little short of adisaster. Bitten half to death by
midges on the first night and all
but driven mad by the perpetual
dripping caused by the incessant
drizzle. And the daily distances that
we’d set ourselves to cover were
far too great. We were frightened
by the strange tartan people with
their curious translucent blue skin.
And I can still distinctly remember
ordering cod and chips from a littleBAREFO
OTSINCE (^2009)
DA
MN
GOOD (^) F
OO
D
N
O
PON
CINES
S!
A bit about
the chef
The ‘Barefoot
Chef’ started life
as a photography
project, which
went on to
spawn a number
of comedy
cookery videos on
Youtube. Before
this column, Dave
was involved with
a cookery spot on
local radio until he
cooked squirrel on
the breakfast show
and was never
invited back!
Above right
Scotland was never
like this!
52 THE BAREFOOT CHEFwww.volkswagencamper.co.uk
THE BAREFOOT CHEFBREAKFAST