S
ince leaving the world of yacht
brokerage and joining the ranks
of the Fourth Estate (Marine Division),
my world has opened in the same
way that it must for a caterpillar
that has turned into a butterfly.
My domain is no longer my little goldfish bowl
of an office teetering on the edge of the local
marina, with occasional visits to UK boat shows
about the extent of my range. Now my office is
my mobile phone and my MacBook Pro, a Nikon
is my weapon of choice and my passport is my, er,
passport to far-flung places and exotic machinery.
It has granted me access to some incredible craft,
normally so far off limits to a proletariat like myself
that they might as well have been on the other side
of the moon. One of the most astonishing vessels
I’ve ventured aboard was a superyacht which, at
almost 100m long (not feet – metres!) was in fact
technically a megayacht. A couple of extra metres
would have put it into gigayacht territory (depending
on your definition, but I think the term neatly sums
up 100m-plus yachts).
It was immense – like a private ocean liner. Once
I’d been issued with my security pass and divested
of my shoes, I was given a guided tour by the Interior
Manager. This is a guy in charge of a team of ten
staff, all of whom’s sole role in life is to look after
guests and keep the interior – with its 17 guest
cabins – absolutely immaculate. There’s another
equally large Exterior Team with the same remit for
the outside of the yacht. The remainder of the 33
crew are made up of captain, officers, engineers,
chefs, and more. I was served lunch in a 12-seater
dining room, the smaller of the two internal dining
rooms (the other was twice the size). It was easy to
find – it was directly opposite the 15-seater cinema
on the main deck (I swear I’m not making this up!)
The ship, available for charter (€1.5 million will gain
you a fortnight on board, not including fuel for the
triple 9,000hp MTU diesel engines) was in the top
50 largest privately owned yachts in the world, just.
Which throws up a mind-boggling thought – there
are almost 50 people out there who have considered
a yacht of this unbelievably vast size and thought,
“Nope, I’m going to need something a little larger.”And you know what? I completely understand why.
It’s because they’ve got that disease that afflicts all
boat owners – sizitis. It’s a debilitating condition
that sneaks up on you and the symptoms are
simple. No matter how big your boat is, the next size
up would just offer you what’s lacking on yours.
It happened to me today. I spent months carefully
analysing my requirements and choosing a boat
that answered them perfectly. It had to have a
proper toilet compartment. Check. It had to have
a permanent double bed separate to the dinette,
preferably in a separate cabin. Check. It had to be
able to accommodate eight people comfortablyfor a day out. Check. It had to be able to exceed
30 knots. Check. It had to have proper side decks.
Check. Check. Check. It. Is. Perfect.
And today, editor Hugo emailed me a web link for
DinghyGo, a neat little inflatable RIB with a sailing rig
like a 21st-century Tinker Tramp so when you reach
your destination, you can launch it and go sailing.
And I caught myself thinking, “If only my boat were
just a little bigger, I could fit that on it.” Aaarrrgh!Video recommendation: Search DinghyGo and
see for yourself what you could have – provided
your boat is big enough...Sizitis is a debilitating disease that affects
all boat owners. No matter how big your
boat, there’s always the next size up...COLUMNSNICK BURNHAM: I spent months analysing exactly what size boat I needed. Then editor
Hugo ruined it with a single emailTHE BORN AGAIN
BOAT OWNER
Nick sizes up how
many DinghyGos
he could keep on
board this megayacht