KATE MARTIN
BOOKS TO LIVE BY●Mariella Frostrup
Reads to help a bereaved child
navigate their emotions
WRITE TO
MARIELLA
Got a dilemma?
Email mariella@
sunday-times.
co.uk. Anonymity
on requestT
he past two years have been very tough on our
little family. In 2020 we lost my mum, who lived
with us. My twin nine-year-old boys have taken
it badly, with one especially acting up, lashing
out and venting his feelings. I made the decision to
take an extended parental leave from work. We
started counselling to support him. Is there a book
you would suggest for my son and I to read together
to maybe make sense of life for both of us?Y
our sad story reflects the experience of many people
who lost loved ones during the pandemic, often
before their time. Confronting mortality is always a
challenge, but particularly for children. Especially if
they have lived in such proximity to the person who has
died. This little man of yours is struggling to find solid
ground beneath his feet and needs a sense of security.
The idea of finding a book to explore together is a
really sensible one: plenty of studies into child rearing
confirm that the time and solitary focus you give a kid
in the act of reading aloud is indispensable for theiremotional nourishment. There are so few occasions in
our harried lives that we give anything our full
attention, and unfortunately that includes our children.
I hate to generalise about boys as there are plenty
who are enthusiastic readers, but my own experience is
that most come to books slower and later than girls. My
son’s interest in books peaked around your twins’ age,
and then fizzled out — pretty soon after I stopped
reading to him, come to think of it. That’s not to say
that I was the allure, but when it was no longer a
pastime that brought other benefits he looked
elsewhere. Maybe you can learn from my mistakes and
make it a habit that continues way past the moment
he’s capable of reading the words on the page alone.
What you read is not the most important thing,
though finding a narrative that keeps its grip on you
despite being delivered in bite-sized chunks can be
tough. It’s enough to make you long for a picture book
for older kids, which can be delivered in one fell swoop
as a bedtime story. Maybe someone might like to write
it? Meanwhile, try these ... ■The Summer Book
Tove Jansson
Sort of Books, £9.99
This rites-of-passage tale about
a child who has lost her mother
and spends a long, hot summer
with her grandmother on a
remote island is one of my
favourite stories by the Finnish
creator of the Moomins.
Grandma loses her teeth,
Sophia tries to conquer her fear
of water, they break into a
neighbour’s house — but
mostly I recommend it for its
motionless, spellbinding magic.Blueback
Tim Winton
Picador, available second-hand
A simple environmental fable
by a twice Booker-nominated
Australian author, about a boy,
Abel, and his mother who
survive partly on the proceeds
of snorkel-diving for abalone
after the boy’s father is killed
by a shark. They’re forced to
defend the big, friendly blue
grouper of the title from a
villainous desecrator of the
sea. It stole our hearts when
my boy and I first read it.Treasure Island
Robert Louis Stevenson
Collins Classics, £6.99
From the opening scene when
the peg-legged Long John
Silver comes tapping
ominously into our lives, this is
a classic, transporting epic of
children’s literature. Written
originally as a serial, it’s as
addictive as any box set. What
could be more emotionally
nourishing than being cuddled
up with your mum as you’re
exposed to cut-throat pirates
on the high seas?Just So Stories
Rudyard Kipling
Puffin Classics, £9.99
Travel together to faraway
lands, learn how the camel got
his hump, how the leopard got
his spots, discover the shores
of the great grey-green, greasy
Limpopo river and laugh at the
audacity of the elephant’s
child. These bite-sized stories
will provide a chance for your
boy to embrace the magic of
existence — and you’ll easily
get to the end of each one
before it’s time to sleep.The Sunday Times Magazine • 57