BOAT BUYERS GUIDE 2018 | 162 | BOATINGMAG.COMI
am not averse to spending other people’s money. So, when my good
friend Chuck Larson asked me to meet his nephew Ryan at the
Chicago Boat, RV & Strictly Sail Show to “help the kid pick out a boat,”
I did not hesitate to say yes to the request.
Actually, I did hesitate.
First, I made sure we would not be venturing into the weirdness of the
Strictly Sail portion of the show.
Then there was more hesitation while I
secured financial backing (other people’s
money) from Capt. Editor, who agreed to cover
my expenses for the journey from snowbound
Oshkosh, Wisconsin, to blustery Chicago.
Those details covered, I was off for the Windy
City via Amtrak, where Ryan picked me up in
his Saab 93 outside Union Station.
Ryan is not to be confused with Chuck’s hip-
ster nephew, Alan, borrower of the Yar-Craft.
And Ryan is not “a kid.” He’s 39 and a mogul in
the field of public relations at a big Michigan
Avenue shop. He keeps his Porsche in a cozy
garage all winter, which is why he was driving his “winter beater” to the boat
show. When the Saab’s radiator hose erupted in a cloud of steam as we parked
in the McCormick Place garage, Ryan shrugged and we simply walked around
the puddle of antifreeze. We were on a serious mission here.
In a pre-show interview, Ryan laid out to me his marine dream: His boat
has an awesome audio system and blue LED cockpit lights — and matching
underwater LED lighting — and he is bobbing off Navy Pier with friends or
clients, waiting for fireworks. Or he is watching the Blue Angels in an airshow. Or he is entertaining his posse
dockside at Burnham Harbor before
walking to Soldier Field for a Bears
game. I noticed that his Saab has
an awesome audio system and blue
LED mood lighting.
I immediately navigated Ryan
to the Formula booth and aboard a
well-optioned 290 BR. I clicked a
switch on the dash, and blue LEDs
glowed from each speaker grille.
This was too easy. I gave Ryan a full
Boating magazine walk-through of
the Formula, but he became fixated
on one small detail. Formula fills
the center of each snap for canvas
with a little black-rubber plug. I’m
told it’s to ward off salt residue and
dirt. Ryan loved the little plugs as
much as he loved the blue LEDs. We
spent the rest of the day looking at
other perfectly serviceable 29-foot
boats, some with blue LED lighting.
None with plugs in the snaps. Ryan
checked every boat.
At some point, I’d explained to
Ryan that when I evaluate a boat
and see some obvious sloppy work-
manship, it makes me suspect the
quality in places I can’t see. The
snap plugs were Ryan’s confirma-
tion of the absolute superiority of
the Formula 290 BR.
At the end of the day, we stood
on a dark, cold street corner and
watched as the Saab was winched
onto a flatbed recovery truck. The
bitter weather and the price of the
Formula made Ryan think hard
about the short season in Chicago
and the days Lake Michigan would
be too rough to be fun. Pragmatism
set in. Maybe he’d join a boat club
or start with a smaller boat on Lake
Geneva. His girlfriend wouldn’t like
the boat — or spending the money.
Maybe he’d get a new girlfriend. One
who happens to be attracted to blue
LED lighting.At some point, I’d
explained to Ryan thatwhen I evaluate a boat and
see some obvious sloppy
workmanship, it makes
me suspect the quality in
places I can’t see.SEDUCED BY
SNAPS AND LED
Sometimes the devil really is in the details.ILLUSTRATION: TIM BOWER; PHOTO: MABEL PLUEDDEMAN