n.05_September_October.2009.Englisch._

• THELASTLAUGH

U5J

Howtowritea testimonialfora bad

employee:

You will always

find something

in the last

place you look.

Hiddenmessage

• Foralazyernployee:
  "You'dbeveryluckytogethirn/herto
  worktoryou,"


• Foraveryunproouctiveperson:
  "Noperson would be better than
  himlherforthejob."


• Forsomeonewhofrequenttymissed
  WOI"k:
  "Anemployeelikethisishardtofind,"

"Yt..r,yu,Jes,JmissJOu,too,honeJ.Nowputt!udogon,"

When all else fails, read

the instructions.

~
j
$

.'---------~-----~--------='

GDingup

• Fora stupidemployee:
  ~Thereisnothingyou can teacha
  workerlikethis."

Anoldladyis goingtotakeherfirstflightinanairplane.Sheis very

nervousandinsistsonspeakingtothepilotbefOfe~.

~YouwillbringtheplanedownsafeJy,won'tyou?"sheasks.

~Don'tworry,"thepilotsayscheerfully,~I'veneverleftanypassengers

uptheresofar,"

Anaccountaotcheckstherecordsota smallbusiness.Heteilshis

client,"Weil,there'sgoodnews,andthere'sbadnews."

"Givemethebadnewsfirst,"thee1ientsaysanxiously.

~Thebadnewsisthatyourbusinessis'Iatonitsback,"saysthe

accountant.

ThebusinesspersonaskshopefuJly,~Andwhat'sthegoodnews?"

"It'slookingUD!"

beflatonone'sback

rbi,fIa,tonW"nl:'ba:tl

cancel5th.[']uenvl]

honey['hAnilifml.

ft'slookinrup

.[11',Iulng'Ar)

l.aysb.oH[,I~I'nn

pul...onl.r<>l'IInl

surt'iYOrgul1t1s,,'YaIv;:l9,lt1

take-off"telt'0(}

Buchhalterlin)

amBodenIamEnde

~"

etw.absagen

gibmirmal...

SchuldgelOhlevon

Überlebenden

SI'"

Arbeitszeugnis

CANCELTHEWORK-

SHOPONSURVIVOR

GUILT.

-.

I HADTOLAYOFF

MANYOFYOURCO-

WORKERSTODAY.BUT

YOURJOBSARESAFE.

DILBERT

92 BusinessSpoUight 5/2009